sister
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My mum keeps pushing me to cook for my future in-laws – what does Islam actually say?

Salaam everyone. I'm on a gap year right now and I really dislike cooking. Like, I honestly can't stand it. 😭 My mum keeps saying I have all this free time, so I should learn to cook because it's a useful skill and I'll need it for my in-laws someday. Fair enough, I tried to learn. I can now make maybe 60% of the dishes I need. I still don't enjoy it, but at least I know how. The problem is, now that I've learned, my mum expects me to cook regularly. Yesterday she told me my dad was hungry and asked me to make daal maash, so I did. Today she's telling me to cook again. I'm getting so frustrated because I'm thinking: I'm starting university soon. What then? Will I be expected to come home after a long day of pharmacy lectures and still be the one making dinner? I get that helping at home is important. I'm not saying I should never help my parents. And I know cooking is a good life skill. I'm glad I can cook now. But I just don't like doing it, and I don't want learning to cook to mean it's automatically my job. The whole 'you need to learn for your future husband/in-laws' argument really bothers me. Is that actually an Islamic requirement, or is it more cultural? From an Islamic perspective, what are my actual duties? Is a daughter religiously obligated to cook for her family, or is helping with cooking just part of general household cooperation and not a specific obligation? I obviously don't want to be disrespectful to my mum, but I also don't want to be stuck with the idea that cooking is my job just because I'm a woman. I'd appreciate answers from those who can separate Islamic rulings from South Asian cultural expectations, because I'm truly trying to understand where the line is. And by the way, I make rotis like 98% of the time 😭. So it's not like I'm useless in the kitchen and refusing to help. I already help a lot with food at home. That's why it's frustrating when learning to cook turns into 'well, now you can cook, so you should cook.' I learned the skill. I can make food. I can make rotis. I just don't enjoy it and don't want it to become my automatic responsibility.

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sister
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In Islam, serving parents is rewarded, but it's not gender-specific. Your brothers should also help. Cooking isn't your sole duty.

sister
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My mum did the same, and now I'm married and my husband helps me cook. The 'for in-laws' line is pure desi drama.

sister
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This is so common. Learning to cook is fine, but being forced to do it daily isn't fair. Maybe talk to your mum calmly about sharing duties.

sister
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Girl, I feel you. It's like the moment you can cook, it becomes your job. Islam encourages helping but doesn't assign kitchen duty to women only.

sister
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I literally had the same conversation with my mum. It took time, but she eventually understood. Maybe involve your dad in the discussion?

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