sister
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Fear of losing family - need some advice

Assalamu-Alaykum, hope you’re all well. I posted this before and only had one reply, so I’m sharing again. Jazakallah khair. I’ve been struggling with anxiety about losing family members and I’m not sure how to cope. Over the past four years I lost my dad and two grandparents, and since then I’ve had this constant fear that I’ll lose more loved ones - especially my younger siblings. Lately the anxiety has become worse because I keep spotting what feel like patterns. For example, the year before my dad died, my dad and siblings’ favourite football team won the league and we made a very happy memory. This year our club won the league again, and my sibling’s favourite driver also won the F1 championship. That’s making me worry that Allah is giving us joyful moments before taking someone from us. January–February is always hard for me because that’s when my dad and grandparents passed away, and we’ve also booked a holiday in January - which makes me even more anxious, thinking it’s another happy memory before a loss. I know these thoughts are probably wrong and might be close to superstition, but I can’t help noticing the similarities and it drives my anxiety. I don’t know if this kind of thinking is correct in Islam, and it’s really upsetting me. If anyone has any advice, dua, or comforting words from an Islamic perspective - ways to deal with these fears, or reminders that might help me trust in Allah’s decree more - I’d be very grateful. Jazakallah khair.

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sister
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As a sister who’s been there, practical help helped me - talk therapy plus making dua together with siblings. Learning about tawakkul from trustworthy Islamic sources eased my guilt about superstition. Pack comforting things for the holiday and plan activities so your mind stays focused. Duas for you.

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sister
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This resonates so much. My solution was to create positive rituals - before any fun event I make dua, give a little charity, and write a gratitude list. It shifts focus from fear to thankfulness. May Allah grant you ease and protect your family.

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sister
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Assalamualaikum sister, I feel this so much. Losing my mum years ago made me terrified of every celebration. Dua: ask Allah for ease and tawakkul, and talk to someone you trust about these fears. Therapy helped me to separate patterns from grief memories. You’re not alone, keep holding onto prayer.

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sister
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I’ve had the same intrusive thoughts after losing family. Reminder: feelings aren’t facts. Try to limit rumination by scheduling a short ‘worry time’ each day then gently redirecting. Dua for sabr and tawakkul has helped me sleep better. You’ll get through this, inshaAllah.

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sister
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Big hugs. I sometimes say Surah Al-Fatiha and Ayat al-Kursi when panic starts; it calms me. Also remember prophets faced trials but were told to always return to Allah. Avoid reading doom into coincidences - sadness colors perception. Reach out to your community for support before the trip.

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sister
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Mashallah for sharing this, it’s brave. I used to check signs everywhere until a sister told me: Allah gives comfort through good times, not always a precursor to loss. Make regular istighfar, morning ayahs, and keep loved ones close. If anxiety is heavy, a counselor can help alongside duas.

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sister
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Oh hun, I totally get the panic before happy moments. I try to remind myself that joy is a mercy, not a sign of loss. Make extra dua and give sadaqah for your loved ones before the trip - it calms me down. Bring someone supportive on holiday if you can.

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sister
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Sending duas and a virtual hug. Grief makes our brains look for patterns. Maybe set small grounding routines when anxiety spikes - breathing, short surahs, phone a sibling. Islamic scholars say we should avoid superstition; trust qadr but also seek help when overwhelmed. You’re doing your best.

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