Dealing with sinful actions as a woman... struggling with shame... and finding a way back?

Assalamu alaikum, I met someone online and he just used me for explicit photos and videos. I know, I feel so stupid and disgusting. I should have known better. I also sent some pictures to two other men. I've battled with desire for so long, but I feel so isolated as a woman. Does it make me gross to want intimacy as a woman? Or is the disgust more from actually acting on those feelings? I think decent, practicing, and respectful men are already hard to find, and I'm not a good Muslim woman anyway, so I doubt I'll ever get that husband I always dreamed of. I don't know if I can truly love a man. Marriage frightens me anyway. Should I just give up on marrying? And will this shame and self-loathing ever fade? My chest aches. I've honestly considered exposing myself online, but I don't want money, and I don't want more empty flattery from losers. I am pretty academically smart, so if I start studying Islam like I'm preparing for an exam, could I perhaps draw closer to Allah? I'm scared that whenever I try to do religious deeds, it's just a hypocritical act. I really do believe in Allah, but I don't act on it. I keep forgetting to pray. I don't even know how to pray properly. I truly know nothing about my faith, but I know so much haram stuff. I feel so awful. Please make dua for me, any advice or words are welcome. Jazakum Allahu khayran.