Overwhelmed and Struggling

Assalamu alaikum. I'm reaching my limit with this life-so much pain. Since my teenage years, it's been unbearable with all the abuse. Everyone admires my brother, but he gets away with what he's done to me, and no one seems to care. I'm exhausted; I've suffered so much, and he just laughs. I try to be a good person, but all I get is hurt. I feel like jumping from the balcony. It's not just that-I'm drowning in shame and constant criticism; it's torture. I keep repenting, but I feel like I should just die. Childhood was good, but my brother mentally tortured me. My parents don't understand; they just tell me to recite Quran, but it feels like spiritual bypassing. I'm trapped at home-if I leave, I'll be homeless; if I stay, I suffer. This home is toxic. I ran away once, but it didn't work out. I was in a psych ward but protected him, never telling anyone he was the abuser. It's unfair that I suffer so much mentally and emotionally. I've made dua for him, and he seems to be doing well while I suffer. I'm done. He always gets away with it, so complaining is pointless. But I don't think my suicidal thoughts are only because of that-I just feel so overwhelmed.