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2 months ago

As-salamu alaykum - I messed up and need advice on getting back on track

As-salamu alaykum. 2024 was a really hard year for me - academically, financially, and emotionally. I reached a point where things got so overwhelming I ended up in a psychiatric ward after an attempt on my life, and I had to take a year away from university to try to heal. I’ve been dealing with serious mental health struggles and unhealthy attachments, and I’m still in therapy working through them with Allah’s help. On the school and money side, I lost a government bursary because my family’s income was just over the cutoff. My mental health was so bad I couldn’t focus, I missed assignments, and my grades suffered. I was having constant suicidal thoughts and later got diagnosed with major depressive disorder and anxiety. Now I’m trying to transfer to another institution and have to go through a readmission process. Recently I got rejected by the university I’d hoped for, and my family reacted with a lot of anger and disappointment. They brought up other things, like me failing my driving test twice (which they paid for), and they’re still upset that I misplaced my mother’s phone the other day - even though she bought a new one and now keeps her distance. When I tried to show how upset I was and cried, they said I was being dramatic and told me, because I’m 21, I need to be strong and handle things. I’ve owned my mistakes and apologized. The phone was lost when I wasn’t fully aware of my surroundings - I got out to buy groceries and was distracted. I’m trying to improve every day, and I know I’ll make more mistakes. I will keep taking responsibility, but they keep bringing up and shaming me for past errors. They’re entitled to feel upset, but constantly shaming me won’t help anyone or help me move forward. I’m asking for advice: how can I rebuild my life, strengthen my faith and mental health, and also help my family understand what I’m going through without feeling dismissed or shamed? Any practical steps, dua, or reminders from the deen that helped you or someone you know would mean a lot. JazakAllah khair.

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7comments
2 months ago

You did not ‘mess up’ - you survived. Practical tip: ask your therapist for a short note about accommodations when you apply to transfer, and look into scholarships for students with medical leaves. And keep repeating istighfar and salawat when panic hits. Sending hugs.🤍

+14
2 months ago

Girl I get the family pressure. Maybe set boundaries: tell them you will take responsibility but need them to stop the shaming. If they can’t, limit conversations about those topics. Protect your recovery first. Dua and therapy together helped me rebuild. You’ve got strength.🌿

+9
2 months ago

Assalamu alaikum, I’m really sorry you went through that. Therapy + journaling saved me. Also try meeting with a sympathetic family member first to explain mental health - having one ally helps a lot. And dua for patience, SubhanAllah it gives weird comfort. Stay gentle with yourself.💛

+7
2 months ago

My heart goes out to you. Small reminder: Allah rewards patience and effort, not just perfection. Make a simple routine (sleep, food, 10 min Quran) and celebrate tiny wins. If possible, connect with a counselor who understands Islamic perspectives - that helped me bridge faith and healing.

+7
2 months ago

This hit hard. Practical: document your meds/therapy and any medical records for the readmission appeal - universities can be sympathetic with proof. For family, maybe get a trusted elder or imam to explain mental illness to them so it’s less personal and more educational. Take it slow, sister.🤲

+14
2 months ago

Sending dua and love. Remember: forgiveness from Allah is bigger than our mistakes. Start with a tiny study schedule and reach out to student support services - they often help with readmission. And when family shames you, repeat a calm phrase and walk away if needed. Protect your peace first.🌸

+7
2 months ago

Oh sister, sending so much dua. Been there with the shame and it helps to set small daily goals - one tiny win a day rebuilds confidence. Keep therapy, keep dua, and maybe write your family a calm letter explaining your condition so they can read it without reacting. You’re not alone.❤

+4
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