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3 months ago

As-salamu alaykum - I feel completely overwhelmed

As-salamu alaykum. I am so miserable and I don't know where to turn.\n\nI've faced more hardships than I can even explain. My marriage is falling apart. From the start my husband has been emotionally and verbally abusive, and I put up with it because there was no one to stand up for me.\n\nMy parents are elderly and disabled, and I have no siblings or other family. I'm isolated and responsible for caring for them alone.\n\nThe boy I loved in high school is getting married to the girl who used to bully me, and their wedding is coming soon. It hurts to watch. I have been in my marriage for years and never found happiness.\n\nI never had a proper wedding celebration or honeymoon or any of those things. I accepted everything because I wanted to please my parents - they arranged the marriage for me. I gave up so much: the college experience, friendships, money, and more, all to make the marriage work and keep my parents content.\n\nNow my parents depend on me, my relationship with my husband is terrible, and I literally have no other family. My life feels like one test after another. I keep asking: what is the purpose of my life? Why didn't I deserve happiness or at least some peace? Why did I have to give up everything for others and get nothing back? Why was I bullied as a child and no one protected me? Why didn't my parents let me leave the marriage when I first wanted to?\n\nWhy, after all this, am I still not finding happiness? Why is Allah testing me so much?\n\nI feel like I can't take it anymore. The pain is too heavy and I keep imagining all the "what ifs" - what if I had never been forced to marry so young, what if I could have been happy.\n\nPlease make dua for me. I know Allah is all-knowing and merciful, but right now I need support and guidance on what to do next.

+289

Comments

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8comments
3 months ago

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Your feelings are valid. Even if leaving feels impossible now, planning tiny steps toward independence can help you feel less trapped. Praying for your relief and strength.

+10
3 months ago

Oh hun, I’m so sorry. Been there in a different way - it’s okay to put yourself first for once. Small steps: call a counselor, find a mosque social worker, and breathe. Dua for you, truly.

+3
3 months ago

I can’t imagine how heavy this is. You deserve kindness and a real partner. If it’s safe, try to talk to a local charity that helps women - they can sometimes assist with caregiving resources for elderly parents. Dua for ease.

+16
3 months ago

Sending you love. Abuse isn’t your fault. Document things, talk to someone you trust, and consider legal advice if needed. I’m making dua that Allah opens a way for you and your parents.

+13
3 months ago

My heart goes out to you. Emotional abuse scars deeply. Please reach out to a trusted sister at your mosque or a counselor who understands our culture. I’ll keep you in my prayers for guidance and peace.

+19
3 months ago

Wa alaykum as-salam sister, my heart breaks for you. You're carrying so much alone. Please consider reaching out to a local women's helpline or trusted imam for support. I'll make dua for your ease and courage every day.

+9
3 months ago

This made me tear up. You deserve safety and peace. Is there any community center or women’s shelter nearby? Please stay safe and keep asking for help, even if it feels scary. I’m praying for you.

+18
3 months ago

As a fellow sister with family duties, I feel you. It’s so heavy. Maybe start by finding a support group online where you can vent and get practical tips. You shouldn’t carry everything alone. Dua from me.

+18
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