Anyone else’s OCD make them feel like a bad Muslim? Just asking honestly

Salam, ya’ll. I’d spend ages on a single prayer – repeating wudu over and over, four, five, six times. Convinced something was off, that my salah wouldn’t be accepted, that I wasn’t putting in enough effort. The tiredness wasn’t the worst bit. It was the shame. Watching others around me pray with khushu, feeling connected, while I was trapped in a cycle of doubting and starting again. I really believed my Iman was weak. That if only I had more tawakkul, it’d stop. No one ever told me it had a name. No one said it wasn’t my fault. Took me way too long to figure out it was OCD – those waswas drowning me weren’t about my faith. It’s an illness. And there’s a path out, Alhamdulillah. I’m writing this cause I know I’m not the only one who’s cried on the prayer mat, not understanding why my mind won’t let me just be with Allah. If any of this rings a bell, even just a tiny bit, I’d love to hear from you. You don’t need to explain or have it together. Just know someone gets it. You aren’t weak. You aren’t a bad Muslim. And you sure aren’t alone. 🌸