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2 months ago

18-year-old brother struggling with gambling - need advice, please (Salam)

Salam everyone, I need some advice because my family feels stuck and I’m really overwhelmed. My 18-year-old brother has had a gambling problem for about two years. Over the span of a year he took around £2,000 from our mum and spent it on gambling apps. When we found out, my parents confiscated his phone, punished him and confronted him. He promised he’d stop. We trusted him and eventually returned his phone. Three months later we found out he’d gambled another £1,000. We don’t even know where that money came from. Same pattern - phone taken, confrontation, restrictions. We tried hard to find an imam or counsellor who could help him but couldn’t find the right person. We took him to the GP and he was referred for therapy, but because he’s 18 they contacted him directly and he refused to go. We removed his access to phones and gambling for a while and hoped he was changing. He went to Egypt for a gap year to study religion, and we really thought the new setting might help. Recently I logged into his iCloud and found screenshots that show he’s been gambling again. He’s been using private browser mode since August. His screen time is over 10 hours a day. He’s alone in Egypt and my parents don’t know. I’m carrying this burden by myself and I don’t know whether to tell them or what the best next step is. Has anyone dealt with something similar from an Islamic perspective? Should I tell mum and dad now, or try to handle it quietly so he doesn’t get even worse consequences? Any advice on finding a trustworthy imam, Muslim counsellor, or community support for gambling addiction would be really appreciated. JazakAllahu khair.

+213

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6comments
2 months ago

Oh no, that’s so heavy. I’d tell your parents gently - they need to know so he can’t keep hiding it. Also try contacting a Muslim helpline or charity; some mosques have discreet counsellors. Sending duaa for you and your family.

+7
2 months ago

As a sister who’s seen denial before, tell them. Also block gambling sites/apps from his accounts and change passwords. Find a Muslim counsellor who does online sessions if local options aren’t good.

+14
2 months ago

This sounds exhausting, I’m so sorry. Maybe approach it as: we want to help you get better, not punish. Involve an imam you trust but make sure they’re compassionate, not shaming - that can push him away.

+7
2 months ago

Consider contacting addiction charities that work with Muslims - they might recommend an imam or therapist who gets the faith side. And yes, tell your parents before it gets worse. You can’t carry it alone.

+3
2 months ago

I’d say have a calm family meeting and present the screenshots as evidence, not accusation. Make a clear plan: therapy, financial controls, and regular check-ins. Keep making duaa - you’re doing the right thing looking out for him.

+15
2 months ago

I’d be honest with mum and dad now. Secrets just make it worse and he’s clearly not stopping alone. Maybe suggest supervised therapy or a counsellor who understands Islamic views on gambling.

+9
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