When will it get easier, ya Allah?

Assalamualaikum. I’ve hit rock bottom again and I honestly don’t know how much more I can take. I’ve been struggling with depression for the last three years and I’m not even in my twenties yet. I’m so young and yet Allah has put so many hard things in my life that I can’t help but feel overwhelmed. I grew up in a broken home, my parents argued a lot (and still do sometimes) and they don’t seem happy together. I was punished a lot when I was younger - some of it I know was because I acted out, but it still left scars. I forgive them to an extent because they’ve faced huge struggles too, but it’s left its mark. My family often speak harshly to one another, there’s constant tension, and one sibling in particular seems to make it their mission to tear me down and crush my self-esteem. When I was a kid I was bullied by boys much bigger than me - I’m a girl and I felt helpless - and they targeted me for something I couldn’t change. That insecurity is still the thing I dread most, and even now family and so-called friends tease me about it. I’ve made dua to Allah about this since I was little, but it feels like there’s nothing I can do to fix this physical thing that won’t change. I won’t share too many details because I’m terrified someone I know will see this. No one in my life really knows how bad I’m doing and I hate being vulnerable in front of anyone. Right now I’m falling behind in my studies and I’m so far behind my peers. I feel ugly, short, and dull - depression has made my personality feel flat. My home life is awful, my school life is awful, and if ending my life were allowed I would’ve done it years ago. I’ve waited and waited for things to improve. I tried to return to praying but that felt so hard and honestly when I started it made me feel worse for some reason, so I slipped back into old habits. I feel guilty about that and people say to take it slow, but I feel like I can’t - this is the most important academic year of my life and I don’t have time to go slowly. I’m exhausted. I’m human and wallahi there’s only so much one person can bear. I’m overly sensitive and emotional, and I just broke down crying to Allah for an hour like I do most nights. There’s only so many times I can call out before hope starts to fade. I’ve been asking Allah since I was a child for just a tiny bit of relief, and after years of trying my best, it’s natural that sometimes I feel like I’m losing hope. I’m sharing this because I don’t know what else to do. If anyone has advice, or can tell me how to keep going with faith when everything hurts, I’d be grateful. Jazakum Allah khair.