When Is It Okay to Question Our Parents' Orders?

Assalamu alaikum, everyone. I'm dealing with a really tough family situation and could use some perspective. My father has been abusive to me and my siblings for as long as I can remember. Growing up, the physical harm was severe, especially for me as the eldest. It only stopped when I got older and stopped reacting to it. Now, it's mostly emotional and verbal pain. I've made du'a for guidance and protection from this behavior. A recent event really opened my eyes. My mother fell very ill and was in the ICU. Before that, while she was unwell herself, my father made her take my sick younger sister to the hospital alone. When my mother's condition became critical, his first concern was who would look after *him*. He left major medical decisions to my aunt and me. After the crisis passed, he went back to criticizing her cooking and making demands, showing little true care. I see his character clearly now. He demands financial support, yet questions how I spend my money. He constantly brings up past sacrifices, but we've learned many of his stories about being mistreated or helping family are not true. Even his own relatives kept their distance. The abuse continues, often justified by twisting religious teachings about respect. I stay quiet to keep the peace, but it's hard. Where do we draw the line when it comes to obeying our parents? Jazakum Allahu khairan for listening.