Trying to understand Allah's tests

Assalamu alaykum everyone, I've been really struggling with my iman lately and could use some advice. Whenever I try to talk to my mom or family about my doubts, they get upset and tell me I shouldn't question Allah-just ask for forgiveness. Growing up, I always had questions about Islam that never got answered. My mom is very religious and had me wearing hijab and long skirts from a super young age. As a teenager, I rebelled-left Islam for a while, stopped praying, and went through a phase I deeply regret. Alhamdulillah, I came back to the deen on my own at 21. Since then, I’ve been praying five times a day, fasting Ramadan, and giving zakah. It feels like a big deal because it’s been six years now, and I’m really trying. I’m genuinely grateful for everything Allah has given me, but I’m still human, and there’s so much I don’t understand. Sometimes I wonder: if Allah loves us, why does He let us go through so much pain? Why create us just to test us? Life feels so heavy right now. My family has been through a lot-financial stress, my mom battling cancer and major surgeries, and my father leaving when I was young. Alhamdulillah, my mom is okay now, but watching her suffer was traumatic. And my grandma, who’s always been so pious, is now in hospice with pancreatic cancer. It’s like even doing everything right doesn’t guarantee ease in this life. Honestly, sometimes I feel like if I had a choice, I wouldn’t want to be born at all. I don’t want Jannah or Jahannam if it means being tested like this. And even trying my best, I can’t be sure where I’ll end up. What’s the point? I know things could be worse, and I’m trying to stay thankful, but it’s hard not to question. Lately, it feels like all I see is suffering-especially in Muslim countries facing war and poverty. I’ve heard that the strongest believers are tested the most, but why? If Allah already knows our hearts, why so many tests? My connection to salah has changed, too. I used to pray out of love, but now I sometimes pray out of fear. I feel really distant from Allah and Islam, and I don’t know how to fix that. Does anyone else ever feel this way? I’m not trying to be disrespectful-just confused and looking for some clarity.