Struggling with Wearing the Hijab - Need Some Advice

As-salamu alaykum, everyone. I've been wearing the hijab for about a month now. Honestly, I think a lot of my decision came from outside influences-things friends and guys have said to me. But I didn’t start wearing it to please anyone else, just because I got scared after hearing certain things. The first two weeks were okay, but after that, I started feeling really down. Now, I find myself trying too hard to look prettier, even though my clothes are loose. I've been wearing more makeup daily than before, something I usually reserved for special occasions. I began wearing the hijab out of fear of punishment in the hereafter, and after being scared for two months, I decided to keep wearing it just to ease that fear. The thing is, I don’t fully understand the reasons behind wearing the hijab. When I ask, the answers don’t really convince me. I know it’s something Allah commands, but when I try to read and learn more, I still don’t feel settled. People say the hijab suits me, but I don’t feel that way inside. I get that the hijab is meant to cover beauty, so it’s normal to feel less pretty, but I didn’t expect to feel this bad-sometimes almost crying before going to university or feeling super self-conscious outside. Every moment outside feels exhausting because of this insecurity. No one pressured me-my mom was actually surprised when I told her I wanted to wear it. She started wearing hers much later and has only been doing so for a year. I feel trapped, like I can’t take it off, and it’s suffocating. I avoid mirrors and cameras unless I’m just checking my hijab is straight, and even then, I don’t want to look at myself for long. I worry about being judged if I don’t wear it, and I also worry about what people might think about my late father (he passed away almost a year ago). I feel stuck and overwhelmed. I want to stop wearing it, but at the same time, I feel like I can’t. I’m lost and don’t know what to do anymore.