Struggling with My Faith

Assalamu alaykum. I'm going through a tough time and could really use some advice. I embraced Islam three years ago, doing it on my own in private, but at that time I was in a relationship that wasn't halal. The man was Muslim, and I never shared my conversion until after we parted ways. Later, he told me he loved me and was certain about me, but he feared his community's judgment because I'm white. That was a big part of why he felt unready for marriage or to tell his parents. It left me feeling awful. I spoke to my therapist, and she suggested I might be brainwashed and just seeking his approval, even though I converted privately because it brought me peace. Lately, I've felt very distant from Allah and Islam, and I'm seeking guidance. I always believed I reverted for myself, but now I'm scared I might have done it unconsciously for him, even though I've remained Muslim after the breakup. I feel quite embarrassed sharing this, so please be kind :)