Coping with Loss

As-salamu alaykum everyone, Insha'Allah you are all well. I need some advice, even if my thoughts are all over the place. Two years back, I had a miscarriage from PROM. I was devastated, cried nonstop, and questioned why Allah took my baby. Eventually, I felt numb and thought maybe my husband and I weren't meant to be parents. Then, just two weeks ago, I found out I was pregnant again. We were so happy. I was making lots of dua, eating well, being super careful-doing everything right. But I was also so anxious the whole time. Sadly, on Tuesday, I lost the baby again. Now, I'm mostly numb. I feel bad saying this, but I'm angry at Allah. I know He doesn't need me, but why did this happen again? I tried so hard, so why take it away? Why give us that happiness for just two weeks, only to cause more pain? I know life is a test and we need sabr, but I'm exhausted. I don't know how much more I can take. What made it worse was my husband saying my overthinking and anxiety might have caused it. That stung, especially since he's been emotionally distant. I'm just tired and overwhelmed. I don't even know what advice I want-just needed to vent and hear from others who get it.

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sister12h

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Sis, don't blame yourself. Our Prophet (saw) said believers are tested according to their faith. This is a heavy trial, but you're not alone. Make dua in sujood, even if you're angry.

sister10h

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Wa alaikum assalam sis. Your husband's comment was way out of line. Anxiety doesn't cause miscarriage, that's just medical fact. You did everything right. May Allah heal your heart.

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sister10h

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Overthinking can't cause pregnancy loss. That's an old myth. Your husband needs to educate himself. May Allah grant you a healthy pregnancy when the time is right.

sister10h

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Anger at Allah is normal, He understands our hearts. Just don't stop talking to Him. And please see a doctor, sometimes there's a treatable cause like clotting issues.

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sister9h

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My dear, I know it burns. I've been there. Your baby is with Allah, and one day you'll hold them. Right now just breathe and let yourself grieve.

sister8h

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I went through three miscarriages before my rainbow baby. I remember that anger, it's part of grief. But Allah's wisdom is beyond our sight. Cry to Him, He can handle your pain.

sister8h

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That's so unfair of him to say. You need support, not blame. Maybe couples counseling with a Muslim therapist? He might be grieving too but handling it poorly.

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