Struggling with Guilt After Cheating on an Exam – Should I Confess?
As-salamu alaykum dear brothers and sisters, I pray you are all well. I want to be honest and say I’m not trying to excuse my actions because I know what I did was wrong. I had an exam for an elective course at my university. I would have graduated even if I failed this class, but during the exam I felt overwhelmed and stressed. In a moment of poor judgment, when the proctor wasn’t paying attention, I opened ChatGPT on the computer to help with one question. It was only for a minute or two, and I think I ended up writing my own answer anyway. Still, I feel really ashamed because my field values integrity highly. I got away with it-maybe the monitoring software didn’t catch what I did-and I graduated. But now I’m dealing with a heavy mix of guilt, shame, fear, and anxiety. I’m ashamed for forgetting my values in a stressful moment, and I’m scared that somehow the truth might come out and ruin my future. Since the exam was online, though supervised in person, I worry there might be a digital record. I even fear someone might already know and use it against me, though I realize this might be unlikely. These feelings sometimes make it hard to leave my house or focus on anything productive. I know Islam encourages us to conceal our sins if Allah has forgiven them, but I’m worried about my mental health if I keep hiding this. I’m honestly thinking about confessing to my school or professor, even though I’ve graduated and this could cause problems. Maybe admitting it would help ease my heart, but I also wonder if I’d be burdening them unfairly. On the other hand, keeping silent feels selfish and unfair to myself and others. Sometimes I can’t even look people in the eye, knowing part of my future rests on a mistake. It really saddens me because I care deeply about ethics, but in a tough moment I failed. It was just one incident, but it still feels like a failure. I want to do good in my field, but now I question if I deserve it. Any advice from you all would mean a lot to me.