Struggling with an Eating Disorder and Seeking Hope in Islam
As-salamu alaykum everyone, I'm still getting used to sharing on here, but here's my story. Earlier this May, I got diagnosed with anorexia nervosa and hypothalamic amenorrhea-basically, I lost my monthly cycle for over nine months. Toward the end of last year and early this year, my family noticed my weight dropping fast, and honestly, I knew it was happening too. At first, my father kept shouting at me to just stop. When I finally saw a specialist, the doctor explained to my parents that this disorder, in a way, hijacks the mind. For them, that meant Shaytan has taken over. But is it really that? I don't hear any weird voice, just my own thoughts. I hate being labeled as "mental" now-it's like no one takes me seriously after the diagnosis. Another thing: is my eating disorder considered a slow form of self-harm? My parents warn me that if I die like this, it's on me-that it's self-inflicted and I'd be punished in the afterlife. That guilt weighs on me so much. Alhamdulillah, we're a practicing Muslim family. I want to be clear: I pray all five daily prayers, and I've started praying tahajjud too, hoping my duas will be answered, insha'Allah. I'm now eating more than before. Please keep me in your duas. Feel free to ask anything in the comments, I'll try to reply.