Struggling to Keep Family Ties as Islam Teaches, What Should I Do?

Assalamu alaikum, everyone. I need to get something off my chest. I had a really tough childhood, full of pain and trauma. My siblings are older now, and most of them have drifted from the deen. We've all distanced ourselves from our parents, and honestly, from each other too. My parents are aging and alone, but whenever I'm around them, all those old wounds open up. Recently, I tried to reconnect because Islam emphasizes not cutting off family. So I made an effort, but it just ended in more fights and harsh words. I'm lost. My heart feels heavy and broken, and nothing seems clear anymore. Can anyone offer some advice or comfort? Maybe share some Islamic guidance on dealing with difficult relatives without losing your own peace? JazakAllah khair.

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sister2d

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Tough one. When I visit, I set a timer on my phone-like 30 mins max. If it gets tense, I leave calmly. And I always recite the dua for anxiety before going. Small acts of mercy for yourself, sis.

sister2d

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Same boat here. I started writing letters instead of calling-less drama. Just brief, kind updates. It’s not perfect, but it keeps the door open without the fights. May Allah ease your heavy heart.

sister2d

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You did what Islam asks sis, you tried. Don’t beat yourself up. Keep making istighfar for any harsh words and leave the rest to Allah. He won’t punish you for what’s out of your control. Hugs from Tunisia!

sister2d

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I literally teared up reading this. So many of us carry this. Your effort alone is beautiful in Allah’s eyes. Sometimes silence with sincere intention is better than forced interaction that leads to sin.

sister1d

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This hit home. My therapist, who’s also Muslim, told me: upholding ties doesn’t mean enduring abuse. Send a text on Eid, make dua from afar, but guard your mental health. Allah is Ar-Rahman-He knows your scars.

sister1d

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Wa alaikum assalam. Sister, your pain is so real. Remember, Allah sees your efforts. Maybe keep visits short and with a purpose-like dropping off food. Make dua before you go. Protect your heart, but don’t close it completely. You’re not alone.

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