Something feels really off with me, assalamu alaykum

ٱلسَّلَام عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ ٱللَّهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ I’m struggling a lot with my eemaan lately and I don’t really know how to explain it to anyone, but I’ll try to write it out. When I was younger I coped by obsessing over Western celebrities to escape what was happening at home (my family was falling apart, I experienced emotional and physical abuse, and I got bullied a lot at school). I was on my phone all the time, listening to music nonstop, and I followed fan accounts. My personality shifted - I started daydreaming constantly about being a famous person. I pictured different versions of myself: an actress, a musician, a model. I would zone out and imagine music videos where I was the singer, and I kept doing that whenever I was bored in class. Sometimes I’d rock in my chair or quietly sing in my head during lessons. In 2024 I found some Islamic reminders and I tried to quit music. It was really hard, but alhamdulillah I managed to stop for a while. As I became more religious the celebrity daydreams faded, but new ones took their place: now I imagine myself as a student of knowledge, with a loving husband and our own home. I can’t stop these fantasies - they come even during exams. When I should be studying I’m back in my head seeing myself getting top grades and entering great universities, but since I don’t force myself to study, I don’t actually get those results. After exams, when I had fewer distractions, my religious practices suddenly felt difficult. I found myself repeating wudu because I kept questioning whether the water reached a spot, or whether I said bismillah properly. Sometimes I’d convince myself it was waswas, and I know that, but the doubts piled up and I stopped praying. I want to pray again, but the thought of how complicated it might feel now freezes me. Lately I slipped back into listening to music and those old celebrity daydreams returned, while the scholar-and-family fantasies are still there too. My exam results are coming soon and I keep imagining both good and bad outcomes, though realistically I expect a poor grade because I hardly studied. My eemaan is very low, I can’t pray, and relatives are starting to notice and question my behavior. I don’t know who to turn to. I just wanted to share this with someone who might understand - I really want to get back on track and be a better Muslim, but I’m stuck and don’t know where to begin.