Please Keep Me in Your Duas, Brothers and Sisters
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah. I just need to vent a little and ask you to please make dua for me. Sorry this is long. I'm coming from an abusive, toxic home and I have a strained relationship with my parents - mostly my mum since I live with her. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells all the time because I never know when she'll snap. For example, today was incredibly busy at work and I got home late to help with chores. I had already told her we need a househelp because I can't keep coming home exhausted; my body might shut down - it nearly did once. She refused and it turned into an argument. My dad always sides with her, so it just escalates. When she asked me to go shopping after I got home, I forgot one item and said, “I forgot because I left work very late today.” Immediately it became a fight about how I’m always complaining about work. She hadn’t even been home five minutes before she started yelling. It feels like I can't talk to her without it turning into conflict. I’m so tired and down all the time, stressed, getting headaches from it. I’ve been unwell for a few days but went to work today because staying home wouldn’t help me, and Alhamdulillah the day was busy. Still, when I get a short moment to myself, it never lasts before things go wrong. I really need your duas. I know I'm not perfect, but I’ve been struggling for years. Every day I ask Allah to open a way for me. I don’t think marriage is right for me now, so I’m trying to move out - which is very difficult given our cultural expectations. My only close family is my brother, and he’s also distant from them because of how they behave. I can’t afford therapy at the moment and my income is low. When I see others online or hear friends talk about good relationships with their parents, I envy them so much - I really wish I had that. I try to remember this is a big test from Allah and I pray I come out stronger. Please keep me in your duas. Jazakum Allahu khayran.