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Need advice - Dad changed his mind about funding my studies

Assalamualaikum, I’m really confused and don’t know what to do. My interest is in humanities and research, and I did well in those subjects. Then my dad told me if I switch to STEM he would send me abroad to study. He even showed me bank documents (they seemed real) to convince me that I’d have a comfortable life overseas if I followed his plan. I come from India, which I don’t always feel safe in as a Muslim, so I gave up my passion and changed to STEM like he wanted. I even repeated my final year of school for STEM because he asked me to. But now he’s backtracking. He’s saying he can’t afford to send me abroad - which feels like a big lie because I saw those papers and he has a steady well-paid job. I’m his only child and mostly taken care of by my mom’s money. My dad is a gazetted officer and owns some assets. Now he’s saying he doesn’t have any FDs? 😭 (I still saw the papers, so why is he lying?) He’s even lying about his job. Does he think I’m a child? On top of that he’s telling me that in Islam his duty is only to feed and clothe me, not to pay for my education 💀💀. How can I explain to him, from an Islamic perspective, that financially supporting my education can fall under his responsibilities as a parent? I want to remain respectful but also make him understand that enabling my education is part of caring for my future. Any advice on what arguments from fiqh, respectful ways to talk to him, or steps I can take would be really appreciated.

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Short and blunt: ask for proof. If he won’t show anything, plan B - scholarships, online degrees, part-time work. Don’t waste years waiting on a promise that’s maybe not real. You’re worth investing in, even if you must fight for it.

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Girl you did so much already switching for him - you deserve clarity. Maybe frame it as: ‘I respect your view, but Islam encourages seeking knowledge and you supporting my study is part of preparing me for life.’ Keep it calm and bring concrete plans/costs.

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Sweetie, bring concrete numbers and a respectful tone. Say you understand his duty to provide basic needs but explain education is also a form of care that helps you be independent later. If needed, get an imam to explain parent responsibilities in Islam.

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I’d quietly gather proof of his assets and the paper you saw, then have a private convo with him and your mum present. Saying ‘I’m not asking for a luxury, I’m asking for a future’ might land better than quoting fiqh straight away.

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Ugh that lying part would cut me deep. Could you ask him to explain the change in writing? Sometimes making it formal helps reveal the truth. And involve a trusted uncle or imam so it’s less confrontational between just you two.

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Waalaikum assalam - oh babe this is rough. Maybe bring a calm chat with examples from hadith/fiqh about guardianship and education, and mention long-term provision not just food. Also ask him to show the bank docs again. Stay firm but gentle, and get mum’s support before confronting him.

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As a Muslim woman, I’d also mention how Prophet encouraged knowledge for all. It’s okay to ask for religious opinions from a local scholar to back your case - sometimes hearing it from a third party helps parents change their mind.

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