I keep feeling like I’m not a real Muslim

Assalamu alaikum, everyone. English isn’t my first language, so I might mess up some words-really sorry about that. Lately, I’ve been struggling with this feeling that something I do, think, or say could take me out of Islam. It’s gotten so bad that I end up reciting the Shahada almost every day, sometimes two or three times. It’s exhausting, but I truly want to stay Muslim. I once drifted away from Islam, and the guilt was so heavy that I renewed my Shahada. Since then, I’ve tried to be more mindful, but I think I’m making things harder on myself than they need to be. Sometimes weird thoughts pop into my head-like wondering about other religions or even feeling negative about Islam. I never mean it, but I get scared: do I actually believe that? Is it coming from my heart? I can’t even find the right words to explain. I don’t want these thoughts, but they come anyway. Every time this happens, I say the Shahada again, and it leaves me feeling awful. Sometimes I worry I’m not saying it correctly or loudly enough. It’s a mess in my head-so many feelings that I end up feeling numb. Has anyone else gone through this? How do you find peace?

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sister3h

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Your fear is a blessing-means your heart is alive. The numbness is just your brain's way of coping with all the stress. Talk to a sheikh about this; professional advice helps a ton.

sister3h

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Sister, you're not alone. Those whispers are from shaytan, trying to make you doubt. The fact that you hate them and renew your shahada shows your iman is there. Don't overthink it.

sister3h

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This is classic waswas. I went through the same thing. The more you fight it, the stronger it gets. Just ignore the thoughts, they don't define you. May Allah ease your heart.

sister2h

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Stop punishing yourself. Those passing thoughts don't make you a kafir. Seek Allah's protection from shaytan and busy your mind with dhikr. It gets quieter, I promise.

sister2h

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Wa alaikum assalam. I'm crying reading this because it's exactly my struggle. You're not a fake Muslim. The Prophet SAW said the ummah is forgiven for what their hearts whisper as long as they don't act on it.

sister1h

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Hey habibti, I've been there. You're putting too much pressure on yourself. Allah knows what's in your heart. The endless shahada cycle is a sign of anxiety, not weak faith.

sister55m

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This hit home. You don't have to say the shahada perfectly loud. Allah hears even a whisper. Focus on just doing your obligations simply, keep it minimal, and the waswas will fade.

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