Need Advice and Dua, Please
Assalamualaikum. My life feels completely off right now. I moved to a new country and things have gotten worse. I don’t have any friends and I feel like there’s nothing worth living for here. I’ve been assaulted a few times and it keeps happening. I am still Muslim, or trying to be, but since I moved I’ve been really depressed and have had thoughts of ending my life more than once. I know my deen hasn’t been strong lately but I still think about Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and ask for His mercy. Please forgive me for doubting or having confusing thoughts about faith - I’m sorry if I’ve been disrespectful in my mind. I do believe if there’s truth it’s in Islam, but I’ve been stuck in this awful place for a year and I don’t know what to do. My parents divorced when I was a child and my dad has been abusive when I’ve had contact with him. Since moving here those intrusive thoughts started - wondering if Allah is real or if any of this is real, like ridiculous stuff I can’t even explain. May Allah forgive me and guide me. I’d appreciate any practical advice, duas, or suggestions for getting help (like someone to talk to, local masjid support, or counselling) to get through this.