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Mentally exhausted right now - need to vent

Assalamu alaikum, I just need to get this off my chest. I feel really lost and overwhelmed at the moment. I’m from a lower-middle-class Muslim family. My father is almost in his 60s and he’s the sole breadwinner. Lately my A-level tuition costs have shot up, and every time I ask for money for classes I feel so guilty because I know how hard things are for him. For context, my elder sister got married about a year ago. The groom’s side pushed my parents into having an extravagant nikah and walimah that we couldn’t afford. My dad had to take a large loan to make it happen and ever since he’s been stuck repaying it. He’s working himself to the bone to clear those debts. To make matters worse, my sister is with a husband who treats her poorly. He’s living abroad and left her here with no financial help. My sister works a 9–5 but barely earns enough to support herself, and yet he still demands she sends money to him and his mother every month. Because of that, my dad ends up covering many of her expenses too. Our family is slowly being worn down by all this pressure. My mother has a heart condition and the constant worry about my sister is making her health worse. My dad is always stressed so there are frequent arguments at home and the atmosphere is heavy all the time. I’m not allowed to go out and work, so I have no way to help financially. I feel trapped, helpless, and so guilty even for needing money for my studies. It’s like one problem after another with no respite. I just needed to rant. JazakAllah khair for reading if you made it this far.

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Comments

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I’ve been there with family debt stress, it drains you. Maybe talk to a trusted relative or community leader about your sister’s situation? Someone might help her legally or financially. Don’t carry it all alone.

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Oh no, my heart aches for you. That pressure sounds unbearable. Sending dua for your dad and mum, and for some ease soon. You deserve support, honestly - keep holding on, sister.

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Sending you virtual hug. Your mum’s health and your dad burning out is the priority. Have you ever considered a local charity or mosque that helps families with medical or education costs? Worth asking.

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Ugh, the groom’s family should be ashamed. Your sister deserves better support. Protect your mum’s health first and don’t let guilt push you into making rushed decisions. You’re not alone.

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I can feel how exhausted you are. Take tiny steps to breathe - maybe write a letter to your parents about how it’s affecting you, or speak to a female relative who can advocate with you. You matter.

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This is so unfair. You’re doing your best and it’s not your fault you can’t work. Please try to find a small online tutoring gig from home if possible - even a little could ease your guilt.

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