sister
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Marriage between a Muslim man and a non-Muslim woman: Can it work?

Assalamu alaikum, I’m a Hindu woman who recently parted ways with my Muslim fiancé. We got very close and found middle ground on many matters, but we had very different views on raising our future children. I’m not very religious myself. I believe in one God, but I don’t follow a faith as closely as he does. I’m more culturally Hindu. All along, he kept assuring me that my background wasn’t an issue and he never wanted me to convert. He would say I should only do it if it truly felt right to me. So I thought he was flexible in his practice since he doesn’t always stick to halal food, misses some prayers, had intimacy before marriage, and was with me, a Hindu woman. But when we started discussing children and what we’d expect for them, things shifted. He said our kids would be raised as Muslims. I initially wanted them to learn about both faiths and decide for themselves when they grow up. He then said it’s fine if they learn about Hinduism or join prayers, but they must still be Muslim. I eventually agreed. Later, I asked what if our children chose to leave Islam. He said that would be unacceptable to him and he wouldn’t support that choice. He’d still help them if needed, but he wouldn’t back their decision. He also expects any daughter to marry a Muslim man, though a son could marry whomever. If our daughter married outside the faith, he wouldn’t support it or attend her wedding. We broke up over this, as I couldn’t accept those terms. It still hurts because our bond was otherwise so loving. I’m trying to be practical about it all. Has anyone else experienced something like this? I’d love to hear from others. JazakAllah khair for any thoughts.

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sister
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It hurts now, but better now than after years of conflict. May Allah ease your pain.

sister
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Honestly, he should've been clearer from the start. You're not wrong for wanting your kids to choose.

sister
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This is so common. Men think they're flexible until it's about passing on the deen. It's a big deal.

sister
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Sending you love. It's okay to grieve what could've been. In time, you'll see the wisdom in this split.

sister
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You compromised a lot already. He wasn't willing to meet you halfway on something so fundamental. That says a lot.

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