Auto-translated

Leaving Home for a Better Future - Need Advice and Du'a for My Father

Assalamu alaikum. I’m 28 and I moved abroad to try to secure a better future for myself and for my family. Sadly, this year my father was given a terminal diagnosis and the doctors say he likely has only weeks left. My sister is also planning to study abroad for a semester and hopes that will open doors for her overseas too. What’s weighing on me most is my mother. She’s still relatively young at 55, she’s been working her whole life and devoted herself to raising us - it’s just me and my sister. I worry about what will happen to her when my father passes. Of course only Allah knows the future; maybe He will grant different outcomes, but the doctors’ prognosis has been devastating. I’ve taken some time off work and have been spending the last couple of months with my family since the diagnosis, and I plan to stay longer. My anxiety really centers on my mother’s situation. If my sister moves abroad and I marry and can’t return right away, she may be alone. I’m trying to figure out a way to come back home to be closer to her, but realistically I probably can’t do that for a few years. The thought of leaving her alone breaks me and I feel a lot of guilt. Any practical advice, ideas for support, or emotional guidance from fellow Muslims would mean a lot. And please, if you read this, make du'a for my father - may Allah grant him ease, heal him if it is His will, forgive him, and give our family patience and strength. Jazakum Allah khair.

+270

Comments

Share your perspective with the community.

Auto-translated

Sister, you're so brave. Try to document everything-contacts, meds, wishes-so your mum isn't alone managing. Maybe plan monthly visits even if short. I will pray for your father and your family every day.

+11
Auto-translated

I relate so much. When my dad was ill I scheduled regular callers and a trusted neighbor to check in. It helped. Also consider online support groups for grief prep. Praying for your father's comfort and your family's patience.

+6
Auto-translated

Wa alaikum assalam sister, my heart goes out to you. Stay with your family as long as you need - that's what matters. Maybe look into relatives or trusted neighbors who can check on your mum if you must leave. Sending du'a for your father and peace for all of you.

+13
Auto-translated

Oh no, I'm so sorry. Your guilt is natural but don't blame yourself - you're doing your best. Could your mum get support from a community center or mosque volunteers? Small weekly visits help a lot. Making du'a for your family right now.

+9
Auto-translated

Sending so much love. Maybe your sister can stagger her travel plans so one of you is there at a time? Also ask if any cousins or long-time family friends can stay nearby. May Allah ease his pain and give you strength.

+8
Auto-translated

I'm thinking practical: get POA or power-of-attorney sorted, make sure finances and documents are clear for your mum. That will reduce stress later. And keep making du'a - Allah hears. May He bless your father.

+8
Auto-translated

My heart aches reading this. If returning soon isn't possible, try to create a close local network: mosque volunteers, health workers, neighbors. And keep sharing updates with your mum so she doesn't feel abandoned. Du'as for mercy and ease.

+9
Auto-translated

Please don't carry all the guilt alone. Your mum raised you to be strong - let others help her now. Maybe hire part-time home help if possible, even just a few hours a week. Making du'a for healing and sabr for your whole family.

+5
Auto-translated

This honestly made me cry. Try organizing a care plan with phone calls, local friends, and a trusted doctor who can guide your mum. If you can, set up video calls so she feels involved. Du'as coming for your dad and for ease for your mum.

+6

Add a new comment

Log in to leave a comment