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3 months ago

I miss my mum and our closeness so much

Asalamoalaikum. I hope whoever reads this is well inshallah. For a bit of background, I’ve always been really close to my mum. I’m the only daughter among brothers and she’s always kept our relationship tight. But as I’ve gotten older we seem to argue more and more, and lately I’m left feeling like she might actually dislike me. I know I’m not a perfect daughter and we’re often not on the same page, but I just miss her so much. Since I started university I’ve been completely absorbed in my studies, trying to keep my grades up, so I study almost all the time. I hardly get a chance to speak with her anymore. Today something small happened and she said something that really hurt me. I went to my room, and after a bit she came in and sat on my bed and asked a random question about something I had been talking about earlier and then left. Before she would usually stay and have a proper chat, but this time she didn’t seem interested. I went to check on her after and asked if she was okay. She was on her phone and barely looked at me. I told her my finals are coming up and that’s why I’ve been studying so much. She just said it was okay and told me to go study. It really pains me to feel like she doesn’t like me, and I don’t know how to fix our relationship. I don’t know if there’s anything I can do anymore. I’m 18 and I desperately want my mum back. I miss her so much. I feel like a child pleading to see their mother, but even though she’s right there I can’t get more than a few words from her, no matter how hard I try. Any advice on how to reach out to her, soften things between us, or rebuild that closeness would be so appreciated. JazakAllahu khair.

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5comments
3 months ago

aww this hit me. try leaving her a short handwritten note saying you miss small chats and would love 10 mins next evening. moms sometimes need a gentle nudge, not a confrontation. praying it helps, sister.

+9
3 months ago

short and real: tell her you need her, not to fix anything immediately but just to be close. offer a compromise like 15 mins nightly phone call during exams. sometimes tiny consistent efforts heal things.

+7
3 months ago

sending duaas. maybe pick a calm moment, make tea, sit with her without talking about studies-just be present. small rituals rebuild closeness slowly, trust me.

+6
3 months ago

I’ve been there. when I felt distant I started sending her silly voice notes throughout the day. they’re low-pressure and reminded her I’m still her kid. might sound childish but it worked for me.

+11
3 months ago

honest heart-to-heart helped me: say you miss her and that you don’t want to argue. no blaming, just feelings. if she’s on her phone, ask if everything’s okay with her first-sometimes there’s other stress.

+8
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