I could use some sisterly support, please

As-salamu alaykum sisters, I posted something similar elsewhere and it got removed, so I’m hoping to find some understanding here from other Muslim women. I’m 24F and finishing med school soon. My parents kept turning down proposals while I was studying, and now that I’m about to be free, it feels like the right time to consider marriage. There’s one man I just can’t stop thinking about. I met him two years ago at college - he was a senior: respectful, smart, and he even taught me a few clinical tips. Last year we crossed paths again during a hospital rotation for a few weeks, and I haven’t been able to get him out of my head since. I know it might sound like simple infatuation, but I’ve made sincere duas about this. At one point he asked to meet my mother at her clinic, but for reasons I don’t fully understand it never happened. He seemed genuinely interested and he’s the kind of man who’s sincere with his feelings while being conservative in his behavior. I’ve prayed for us for a whole year, because I really trust Allah and He has answered hard duas for me before. No matter how many other men I meet, I feel a disconnect - I haven’t found the qualities I’m looking for in anyone else. What stings is that during that rotation I was so shy and awkward and I said things I regret; I’m worried he got a wrong impression of me. Now I find myself crying about this every few weeks. I keep reminding myself that Allah has written what’s best, and if this man truly intends good for me he will make a way. I believe in Allah’s decree being best for me. But it still hurts. I can’t really bring this up with my mother because she brushes it off and I feel infantilized, which is frustrating since I’m about to become a doctor. I’d really appreciate any dua, advice, or just sisterly encouragement. JazakAllahu khair.

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4 months ago

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Salaam sister, I’m in my twenties too and cried over similar stuff. Maybe ask a trusted older female relative or female mentor to speak to your mum? Sometimes a third person helps make parents take it seriously. Keeping you in my duas.

4 months ago

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As-salamu alaykum sister, been there - those sleepless prayers and replaying moments. Trust your dua and keep your heart patient. Maybe write him a short, sincere message to clear the awkward things you regret? Could give you peace either way. Sending dua and a virtual hug ❤️

4 months ago

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Oh hun, this hit me. You’ve done the right thing by praying and trusting Allah. Try focusing on finishing med school first so you feel stronger when you talk to your mum or him. And honestly, a genuine apology or clarification can work wonders.

4 months ago

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I feel this so much. Don’t be too hard on your shy self - those little awkward moments don’t define you. If meeting him isn’t possible now, focus on building confidence slowly: practice small talk, rehearse what you’d like to say. You’ve got this.

4 months ago

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Sister, your feelings are valid. I’d keep praying but also give yourself permission to grieve a bit - tears are healing. And when you’re ready, be honest with your mum: state your wishes calmly and show you’re serious about marriage plans. Dua for ease and barakah.

4 months ago

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Sending love. If you still want closure, maybe try to reconnect through a short, respectful message explaining you were shy and would like to meet properly for clarity. Worst case you get peace, best case it opens a door. Dua for ease.

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