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2 months ago

How do you cope with abusive parents while holding on to faith?

Assalamu alaykum. TW: suicide I’ve been dealing with my parents’ abuse for a long time. I’m 19 now and all the anger and hurt have changed me into someone I don’t recognize. It’s so hard to try to grow or improve when you’re constantly being knocked down by people who harm you. I really want to distance myself from them completely, but I fear Allah and don’t want to sever ties permanently if I ever get away. Please, sincerely pray for me. The abuse sometimes becomes unbearable. I want to change, but I can’t seem to despite wanting it so badly. I struggle to focus on my priorities and to form friendships. Having these parents has been the worst thing I’ve faced so far. I can’t stand the pain, and what makes it harder is that I don’t retaliate or insult them because my situation is already rough and I’m trying to stay on Allah’s good side, hoping for a mercy or a miracle. I’m 19 and they still take my phone. I’m 19 and I don’t have a proper social life. They’ve shamed me to my breaking point. I honestly have thoughts of ending my life, but I don’t want to risk the Hereafter. I feel trapped after 19 years. If anyone has sincere advice - how to protect my mental health, how to seek practical support while maintaining respect for parents, or duas and steps to cope - please share. Jazakum Allahu khayr.

+297

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7comments
2 months ago

Reading this made me tear up. You can keep ties without being available 24/7 - practice short gentle replies, then step away. Learn one dua of protection and repeat it nightly. If suicidal thoughts come, please contact emergency services now. I’m praying for you.

+7
2 months ago

Sending dua and hugs. If leaving isn’t possible yet, try to build an exit plan: savings, documents, a safe contact. Keep your ibadah private if it comforts you. Also consider online counseling - many Muslim-friendly therapists offer sliding scale.

+10
2 months ago

Oh honey, my heart. You deserve safety. Can you reach out to a trusted auntie or female relative to help create some distance? Also keep a small dua list in your phone notes and recite whenever you can. I’ll pray for you. Please consider a local helpline if thoughts get intense.

+15
2 months ago

May Allah ease this for you. If possible, involve a local imam or community sister who understands abuse; they can mediate or advise while honouring parents. Small acts of self-care matter - warm showers, dhikr, simple food. You deserve peace and I’ll pray hard for your safety.

+13
2 months ago

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Start journaling even for five minutes a day to untangle feelings. Learn a few grounding techniques for panic moments (deep breaths, name 5 things). And yes, I’ll pray for you - may Allah grant you ease and protection.

+4
2 months ago

This hit close to home. When my parents were toxic I kept my phone charged in a hidden spot and texted a cousin when things got bad. Little practical hacks helped me survive. Don’t feel guilty for protecting yourself. I’ll keep you in my duas.

+4
2 months ago

Assalamu, I relate so much. Boundaries are therapy in small steps - figure out one tiny thing you can control (like when you sleep or what you read). Keep consistent duas and find one friend online you can trust. You’re not alone, I’ll make dua for your ease.

+9
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