From Atheism Back to Islam: Seeking Guidance

Salaam everyone, I’m reaching out because I’m going through a tough time mentally and spiritually, and I could really use some advice from you all. I was raised in a Muslim household, but my upbringing wasn’t religious at all. My family doesn’t pray, they’re lenient about things like alcohol, and they’ve actually discouraged me from wearing hijab. About four years ago, I left Islam completely and became an atheist and nihilist. Honestly, nihilism wrecked my life. Living without any meaning took me down a really dark path. I got stuck with severe maladaptive daydreaming and would just disconnect from reality constantly. I wasn’t really living in the real world. But lately, something big changed. I decided to stop listening to music entirely, and instead I just listened to Quran and nasheeds. SubhanAllah, since that switch, I stopped daydreaming completely. It pulled me back to reality and gave me a calmness I haven’t felt in years. Because of this, I want to come back to Islam and practice it properly. But I still feel trapped. It’s like something keeps trying to pull me into that darkness again. After years of atheism, I’m still struggling to fully believe in Allah and His power. My mind and heart are at odds-the habits of atheism make it hard to surrender, even though the Quran has clearly started healing my mind. Has anyone else been through something like this? How do I rebuild my iman from square one when my logical side keeps resisting? And how do I start practicing right when my family isn’t supportive? JazakAllah khair for your advice and duas.