feeling so turned off by my husband-to-be idk what to do
As-salamu alaykum. my fiancé is a very respectful man and lately he’s been more religious - he’s kept every promise to my family and everything is moving forward, we’re getting married soon. but the thing is, he wasn’t that religious before. we’re the same ethnicity, but his parents raised him here so he lived more of a western lifestyle. today we were talking and i found out he travelled once and was with a white woman on a trip and they went to a few countries together for about a week. i knew he had a past but i didn’t know it was like that or that it lasted so long. i’m really hurt by it. we were planning our honeymoon and now i feel so turned off... he’s apologized many times and said he was in a bad place back then but this is a lot for me to accept. i’ve already accepted that he dated before and had relationships; i don’t want to end things over his past because i have one too - though mine is much less. his past relationships went from high school into his mid-20s, and mine was never anything like that. this Ramadan he recommitted to faith and the last few months he’s been nothing but respectful: keeps his gaze low, treats me and my family with care. he’s genuinely trying to change. we planned a big engagement and the wedding arrangements are set. this revelation broke my heart. he keeps calling and asking forgiveness but i’m not ready to talk. i’m not going to break things off, but i’m struggling with jealousy and pain. also i won’t bring this up with family or friends or his family because i don’t want to invade his privacy, so i’m left carrying these feelings alone. please make dua for clarity and patience.