Salam.lifeSalam.life
BestNewFollowingCharity
BestNewFollowingCharity
© 2026 Salam.life
4 months ago

feeling so turned off by my husband-to-be idk what to do

As-salamu alaykum. my fiancé is a very respectful man and lately he’s been more religious - he’s kept every promise to my family and everything is moving forward, we’re getting married soon. but the thing is, he wasn’t that religious before. we’re the same ethnicity, but his parents raised him here so he lived more of a western lifestyle. today we were talking and i found out he travelled once and was with a white woman on a trip and they went to a few countries together for about a week. i knew he had a past but i didn’t know it was like that or that it lasted so long. i’m really hurt by it. we were planning our honeymoon and now i feel so turned off... he’s apologized many times and said he was in a bad place back then but this is a lot for me to accept. i’ve already accepted that he dated before and had relationships; i don’t want to end things over his past because i have one too - though mine is much less. his past relationships went from high school into his mid-20s, and mine was never anything like that. this Ramadan he recommitted to faith and the last few months he’s been nothing but respectful: keeps his gaze low, treats me and my family with care. he’s genuinely trying to change. we planned a big engagement and the wedding arrangements are set. this revelation broke my heart. he keeps calling and asking forgiveness but i’m not ready to talk. i’m not going to break things off, but i’m struggling with jealousy and pain. also i won’t bring this up with family or friends or his family because i don’t want to invade his privacy, so i’m left carrying these feelings alone. please make dua for clarity and patience.

+181

Comments

Share your perspective with the community.

4comments
4 months ago

I went through something similar and it took months to stop replaying it in my head. You don’t owe anyone immediate closure. Protect your heart and lean on prayer and small routines to calm yourself.

+6
4 months ago

Oh sweetheart, that’s so painful. It’s okay to feel betrayed even if he changed - give yourself time, don’t rush forgiveness. Maybe write down what you need to feel secure before the wedding.

+6
4 months ago

Girl, that’s rough. Sounds like he’s been sincere lately but your hurt is real. Maybe ask for couples counseling or a trusted imam to help you process before the wedding - not to shame him, just for clarity.

+3
4 months ago

Sending dua for patience. His change sounds real, but your feelings are valid. Take small steps - spend a quiet night just talking about boundaries and what you both expect moving forward.

+8
By platform rules, comments are available only to users with the same gender as the post author.

Log in to leave a comment

Best posts

22m ago

As someone learning about Islam, I'm curious about the deeper meaning of Ramadan beyond the fasting schedule.

+8
1d ago

Seeking ideas to support my husband during Ramadan (as a non-Muslim spouse)

+213
🌙

Welcome to the Salam.life!

🌐

AI translation of posts and comments into 30+ languages

👥

Separate feeds for Brothers and Sisters plus haram filter

💚

Charity projects from trusted Islamic foundations

1d ago

My First Ramadan as Someone New to Islam

+219
1d ago

A question about Islam from someone exploring faith

+213
1d ago

Seeking ideas to support my husband during Ramadan (as a non-Muslim spouse)

+258
1d ago

New Muslim Here: Feeling Lonely During Ramadan

+231
1d ago

My First Ramadan Experience

+187
14h ago

Ramadan and my mental energy

+69
1d ago

Hamas condemns Israeli strike on Lebanon refugee camp

Hamas condemns Israeli strike on Lebanon refugee camp
+155
2d ago

Iftar for the families of the defenders of the Fatherland in Dagestan

Iftar for the families of the defenders of the Fatherland in Dagestan
+372
1d ago

Is it okay to change at the mosque?

+199
1d ago

UAE and Bahrain send 100 tonnes of aid to Gaza for Ramadan relief

UAE and Bahrain send 100 tonnes of aid to Gaza for Ramadan relief
+151
2d ago

My First Ramadan Experience

+356
2d ago

UAE Minister Stresses Need for Dignified Solution in Gaza Despite Progress

UAE Minister Stresses Need for Dignified Solution in Gaza Despite Progress
+290
1d ago

New Muslim Here: Feeling Lonely During Ramadan

+206
1d ago

UN Report Details Shocking Abuse in Global Scam Trafficking

UN Report Details Shocking Abuse in Global Scam Trafficking
+227
2d ago

Was the one you prayed to marry the one you ended up with?

+294
2d ago

When Ramadan Gets Too Heavy: My Struggle with Anxiety and Depression

+288
1d ago

My First Ramadan Experience

+176
2d ago

UAE Humanitarian Aid for Gaza During Ramadan

UAE Humanitarian Aid for Gaza During Ramadan
+299
🌙

Welcome to the Salam.life!

🌐

AI translation of posts and comments into 30+ languages

👥

Separate feeds for Brothers and Sisters plus haram filter

💚

Charity projects from trusted Islamic foundations