feeling really lost, need dua and advice

As-salamu alaykum sisters, i accept it, maybe i’m ungrateful and a mess, but i can’t be happy around my family. they hold me back so much. they’re so ignorant and they make me anxious all the time. i always have to defend myself from their rude, accusatory, judgemental comments. our house is overcrowded and my mom keeps having more kids. my parents give me no emotional support - if anything they make things worse. they give me no space, no boundaries, not a single freedom to do things that make me happy. i’m almost 23 and they get upset that i talk about moving away, calling me ungrateful and spoiled. how? they do the bare minimum. yes i live here and eat their food, but didn’t they choose to have me? aren’t i their child? i’ve been through so much trauma under their roof - from sexual assault to deep depression - and all they ever did was blame me and play the victim. i feel like i’m losing my mind. my mom acts like i could never have my own life. she expects me to graduate, be a doctor, pay for all the kids they had, buy them houses and a car - while i’ve never even had a car, i share a crowded room, i take buses and trains everywhere. they’ve taken my bank accounts. they’ve taken my school refund checks. this past summer i did a month abroad through school on a scholarship; it was in a muslim country and they didn’t want me to go but i convinced them. i have never felt like that anywhere else: i didn’t feel sick or weird, i didn’t want to die, people liked my style and hobbies, they believed in me, i made friends with students and teachers who thought i was cool. they hugged me, wanted to know me, and encouraged me - things my family never did. my family isolates me, they chased away every friend i had and caused chaos the one time i wanted to get married and ruined it. i ran away for two days after the guy’s family called them because they started slapping me after that call - he only asked for my hand. i was 19. they hit me up until three years ago. my dad, who should respect and protect me as a woman, would hit me, go through my things, and look at my phone while i slept. he ruined me. i haven’t been able to pray properly for months and i regret it deeply. i’m so unhappy in school and with how i look. i once dreamed of dental school but even thinking about it hurts now. it’s painful to imagine staying in this town with my family for years. i really, really want to move to a muslim country to start my life there - maybe not forever, but for a few years to heal, grow, learn, and actually build something of myself. here i feel talentless, limited, physically unwell, and like i’m going crazy. i keep talking to Allah all the time, asking Him to hear me and grant my wish, but i feel stupid because i don’t pray enough about it. i should be praying and fasting. wallahi sisters, i’m so sad, so broken, it hurts so much. i feel like a failure. i’m still in undergrad because i flunked out before from depression after the abuse, but i’ve been back for almost a year and i’m doing okay. potentially one more year left, in shaa Allah if i can get it together, but it’s hard. please advice me: my parents say no muslim daughter of theirs will live away from them and they call it haram. i love Allah so much and know i’d worship Him better if i were away. how do i move forward? any dua, practical steps, or sisters’ experiences would mean the world. jazakAllahu khair.