Salam.lifeSalam.life
BestNewFollowingCharity
BestNewFollowingCharity
© 2026 Salam.life
3 months ago

Feeling drained by my situation - need guidance, please

As-salamu alaykum. I’m 24, female, living with my parents who are quite strict and old-fashioned. I recently graduated but still unemployed - I’ve applied to every job I can find but nothing’s worked out yet. My parents only cover basic food and rent, so I don’t have money for clothes or extras. It feels like I’m basically poor and dependent on them. I’m hoping to get married and start a new chapter, but my parents insist I marry a cousin back home. They don’t want me talking to men online or even going out to meet someone, and their way of talking to any potential match often scares people off. They’re looking for the “perfect” match by their standards, not mine. I see myself differently from them - I’m ambitious, open-minded, confident, tolerant, and not racist. I really don’t know what to do. I can’t stand staying dependent and feeling stuck. I pray and make dua, but that alone hasn’t changed things yet and I’m getting more hopeless. If this doesn’t improve I’m afraid I’ll fall into depression. I’d appreciate any practical advice, duas, or steps I can take to find work, gain some independence, or approach this marriage issue in a way that respects my parents but also honors my own future. JazakAllahu khairan for any help.

+234

Comments

Share your perspective with the community.

6comments
3 months ago

I was in a similar spot - started teaching online and it changed everything. Made money, confidence, and then could negotiate with my family. Also ask a trusted aunt/uncle to mediate on marriage choices. You deserve a say, seriously.

+6
3 months ago

Don’t rush into marriage to escape. That can make things worse. Save whatever you can, keep applying, and widen your network - alumni groups, mosque community, LinkedIn. Keep making dua and be patient, but plan practically too.

+14
3 months ago

Honestly, therapy helped me stop feeling trapped even before I left home. Look for low-cost online counseling or a supportive sister group. For jobs, focus on building one skill (design, coding, language) and advertise it on social media.

+11
3 months ago

Hugs. Could you try part-time remote work so you can save and gain independence? Freelance sites, teaching, or microtasks. And maybe gently talk to your parents about meeting more than one cousin so they see you're serious but choosy. Sending duas.

+10
3 months ago

Sending love. If parents insist on cousin, try negotiating conditions (working, living arrangements, education) so your goals aren’t sacrificed. Small boundaries can be huge. Also learn basic budgeting so any income stretches further - it helps morale.

+8
3 months ago

As-salamu alaykum sister, I feel you. Start with small freelance gigs online (data entry, tutoring English) - they pay quick and build experience. Also make a simple CV and ask relatives to share job leads. Dua is good, but action + dua works best. Sending dua and hugs ❤️

+6
By platform rules, comments are available only to users with the same gender as the post author.

Log in to leave a comment

Best posts

1d ago

Seeking ideas to support my husband during Ramadan (as a non-Muslim spouse)

+211
1d ago

My First Ramadan as Someone New to Islam

+216
🌙

Welcome to the Salam.life!

🌐

AI translation of posts and comments into 30+ languages

👥

Separate feeds for Brothers and Sisters plus haram filter

💚

Charity projects from trusted Islamic foundations

1d ago

A question about Islam from someone exploring faith

+211
1d ago

Seeking ideas to support my husband during Ramadan (as a non-Muslim spouse)

+256
1d ago

New Muslim Here: Feeling Lonely During Ramadan

+229
1d ago

My First Ramadan Experience

+185
13h ago

Ramadan and my mental energy

+68
1d ago

Hamas condemns Israeli strike on Lebanon refugee camp

Hamas condemns Israeli strike on Lebanon refugee camp
+153
2d ago

Iftar for the families of the defenders of the Fatherland in Dagestan

Iftar for the families of the defenders of the Fatherland in Dagestan
+372
1d ago

Is it okay to change at the mosque?

+197
1d ago

UAE and Bahrain send 100 tonnes of aid to Gaza for Ramadan relief

UAE and Bahrain send 100 tonnes of aid to Gaza for Ramadan relief
+149
2d ago

My First Ramadan Experience

+356
2d ago

UAE Minister Stresses Need for Dignified Solution in Gaza Despite Progress

UAE Minister Stresses Need for Dignified Solution in Gaza Despite Progress
+290
1d ago

New Muslim Here: Feeling Lonely During Ramadan

+204
1d ago

UN Report Details Shocking Abuse in Global Scam Trafficking

UN Report Details Shocking Abuse in Global Scam Trafficking
+226
2d ago

Was the one you prayed to marry the one you ended up with?

+294
2d ago

When Ramadan Gets Too Heavy: My Struggle with Anxiety and Depression

+288
1d ago

My First Ramadan Experience

+175
2d ago

UAE Humanitarian Aid for Gaza During Ramadan

UAE Humanitarian Aid for Gaza During Ramadan
+299
2d ago

Thinking About Shahada & Learning Salah

+258
🌙

Welcome to the Salam.life!

🌐

AI translation of posts and comments into 30+ languages

👥

Separate feeds for Brothers and Sisters plus haram filter

💚

Charity projects from trusted Islamic foundations