Feeling Alone - Assalamu alaykum, I'm Struggling
As-salamu alaykum brothers and sisters, I'm 17 and for as long as I can remember I feel deeply alone. I don't have anyone to talk with or lean on. Lately I've been dealing with heavy depression and burnout while trying to study for exams, and at the same time there's this huge emptiness inside me. I love Allah so much - I would give everything for His sake. I pray, I fast, and I try to do good. Still, sometimes my heart feels so tight I wonder if Allah has left me in the dark. I ask myself, "Why?" Out of billions of people, why isn't there even one person to hold my hand? I listen when others are in pain and try to help those thinking about harming themselves, but I can't find a way out for my own sadness. I just crave a motherly tenderness from Allah; I want to feel loved and important. When my prayers seem to meet only silence, my chest gets heavy and I can barely breathe. I'm so lonely and it feels like there's nobody who fits me. I don't know if this is waswas (satanic whispers) or if I'm truly being tested. I need someone to tell me, "You are not alone." I need comfort. Does Allah truly love me? When will this darkness ease? Please make dua for me, and if you have gentle advice or verses/duas that helped you, I'd be grateful to hear them.