Feeling a Bit Torn About Wearing My Hijab

As-salamu alaykum sisters, I want to share something personal. I truly love my hijab and have no intention of taking it off-I've been wearing it since I was 16, now 23, all by my own choice. The hijab is a big part of who I am. This isn’t about wanting to do anything wrong or haram, just some honest feelings I’ve been struggling with and hoping to hear from others who might relate. Living all my life in a mostly non-Muslim country, I often feel like I stand out too much. Being the only hijabi in a room makes me feel like an open book-people can tell so much about me just by looking, like my beliefs and background. Sometimes I just wish I could blend in more with everyone else, like when you meet someone new and they don’t immediately know everything about you. I also feel like whatever I do gets judged not just as me but as a representative of the Muslim community. I’m not usually bothered by others’ opinions, but when you’re the only Muslim around, it’s hard not to feel responsible. Just to be clear, I’m not facing racism or pressure from family or community; everyone around me is kind. This is mostly something I’m feeling inside. There are also practical struggles. I have to keep my hair tied up all day under my hijab, and it never looks nice or feels comfortable. I have curly hair and spend a lot of time styling it, but once I put on my hijab, it all gets messed up. I don’t like wearing skirts and often feel uncomfortable in clothes I have to wear with the hijab. Sometimes I just want to come home and take everything off to rest my head and neck. I wish I could go to concerts with my friends-like for Taylor Swift or a K-pop group-but I worry about how it would look for me as a hijabi. I’ve missed many fun events because of this, even though I’ve seen other sisters go. I want to try new hobbies, sports, or go to the gym, but constantly adjusting my scarf and managing my hair makes it difficult. And again, being the only hijabi around makes it feel harder. You might call me lazy, but this is honestly how I feel. These feelings are new to me and have been on my mind for a few months now because I want to experience more of life as I grow up. My hijab is my pride, but sometimes it feels like a heavy weight too.