Auto-translated

Choosing Peace Over Pay - Salam and Advice Welcome

Assalamu alaikum - I’m 22 and have been working a very demanding job where I’m on duty 50+ hours a week plus on-call shifts. Some days I’ll be at work from about 8:30am until 10pm, then get called in at 2am for a couple hours and be back at 8:30am to start again. I’m on call every other day and every other weekend. I care about the work and didn’t mind the hours at first, but after a year at this job and two years in the field I’m absolutely burnt out. It’s been harder since I lost a parent in September, and I’m often around cases at work connected to that loss. I can’t keep going like this for the sake of my mental health. I thought I could handle it, but I can’t. Right now I earn roughly $1200–$1700 biweekly. I’ve been offered a different job that would pay about $800–$1200 biweekly depending on schedule. I’m relieved and excited about the new role, but worried about the drop in income. It’s manageable for bills if I make some sacrifices - I’d lose some of the “fun money” I’ve gotten used to. I’m engaged and my fiancée earns well. He keeps telling me we’re a team and he supports me leaving this job; he’s offered to help if needed and says we’ll work it out together. I appreciate that, but I don’t want to be dependent on him - I like paying my own bills and feeling independent and responsible. At this point I’m leaning toward taking the lower-paying job because my time, peace of mind, and ability to grieve are more important than extra money. The new position still lets me serve others, which matters to me, but with healthier hours. I’ve been thinking about leaving for months, so this isn’t just an impulsive reaction to grief; losing my parent was the final straw. Please be honest with me: am I making a foolish choice, or is putting my wellbeing first reasonable here? I’m feeling lost and no longer excited about the new job because of the money worries, but also relieved at the thought of less stress. JazakAllahu khairan for any thoughts or practical advice.

+342

Comments

Share your perspective with the community.

Auto-translated

As a woman who’s chosen less stressful work before: do it. Your independence isn’t just income - it’s peace, too. You’ll figure finances with your fiancé later.

+10
Auto-translated

You’re not foolish. Grief changes how much we can carry. Take the job that gives you space to heal. Practical tip: track expenses for a month to see exact savings needs.

+8
Auto-translated

Honestly, take the lower-pay job. Your health and grief matter more than extra cash. You’ll rebuild fun money later, promise. Sending dua ❤️

+7
Auto-translated

This sounds like the right move. I’d worry less about losing ‘fun money’ and more about losing yourself. You can always pick up side shifts later if needed.

+9
Auto-translated

Don’t let guilt about money trap you. You’ve already been carrying too much. Choosing rest is brave, not weak. And your partner’s support is real - accept it.

+4
Auto-translated

Really feel you on the burnout. My advice: take the new job, set a clear budget, and treat your recovery like a job too. Grief needs time and gentleness.

+8
Auto-translated

I went through something similar and I don’t regret choosing peace. Money comes and goes, but burnout sticks. Your fiancé sounds supportive - lean on him a bit, it’s okay.

+6
Auto-translated

If it lets you sleep and feel human again, it’s worth the pay cut. Maybe keep a small emergency fund to feel less dependent. Big hugs and duas.

+7
Auto-translated

You’re allowed to put yourself first. That doesn’t make you ungrateful or irresponsible. Sounds like a thoughtful choice; trust your gut and lean on your fiancé when needed.

+6

Add a new comment

Log in to leave a comment