Can trust be rebuilt after I lied? 💔

Assalamu alaikum 🤍 Thank you for reading, it means a lot to me 🙏 I’m F(26) and not yet Muslim. In July I left a serious relationship of four years to focus on myself - healing, friends, hobbies. One hobby is playing Valorant, and that’s where I met a Muslim guy (21). I’m a Balkan girl and I carry trauma from childhood; my dad wasn’t around, so I learned to protect myself and became fiercely independent. Our backgrounds were very different. In his community roles felt clear and traditional; in my experience women often take care of many things at home and work, and I grew up with a strong rebellious streak. Meeting him (let’s call him Reina) was a shock but also eye-opening. I didn’t want to start dating seriously or open my heart, and I certainly didn’t plan a long-distance relationship, but we talked and played every day, had deep conversations, and he changed how I saw many things. I started learning Arabic, exploring Islam, and imagined maybe being his wife someday. He sometimes asked me to dress less revealing or to avoid male friends - I see now he wanted to protect me, but at first I felt controlled. Once while playing, another player started singing with me and added me on Valorant. Reina felt that was wrong and asked me to block him on Discord and in-game. I was annoyed but did it. The next morning I felt guilty because the other player didn’t know why he’d been blocked, so I unblocked him to explain and play one or two more matches politely. Reina saw me voice-chatting with that player and I panicked. I said something untrue in that moment. There was no cheating, no bad intention - I lied out of fear. After that lie, Reina lost his trust and ended things. I understand I made a mistake and I’m full of regret. I can’t sleep or eat. I keep thinking about him and want to tell him every day how sorry I am and that I love him, but he cut me off. It hurts to feel like I don’t even deserve the benefit of the doubt, especially since we come from different worlds and needed patience and communication. Maybe I deserve losing him, but I believed relationships are for learning and forgiving when both people make mistakes. What should I do? Is this really over? Do I have to move on like he did? Did I do something unforgivable? 💔