Balancing family, faith, and my wedding day

Assalamu alaikum. This is a bit of a rant. I grew up with a brother who has autism, and for a long time my own emotional needs were overlooked because he required so much care. I’m 4 years younger than him and was even physically hurt by him when I was little, so there’s a lot of complicated history. Fast forward - I’m in my 20s and getting married. My brother now identifies as a woman. I want an Islamic nikah where I can have a private women-only room to do my hair and makeup and not wear hijab for that time. I care about my brother and love them despite the past trauma, and I don’t want to offend or upset them. But I also want my hijabi sisters and female guests to feel comfortable and able to relax without having to keep their hijab on in that private space. I’m torn: do I protect my sisters’ comfort and risk hurting my brother’s feelings, or do a mixed gathering and keep my hijab on the whole time (which I don’t really want), or find another solution? My parents mostly ignore what I went through, and my mom even said she’d be sad if I didn’t bring my child around him in the future. I feel like I’ve sacrificed so much caring for a disabled sibling, and this is supposed to be my day, so the guilt is heavy. I’m considering having the wedding in Saudi where my husband’s family is, so some of my family wouldn’t attend and maybe avoid conflict, but I still want my parents there and I’m not sure it’s worth the strain. I’m a revert and my family is largely atheist, so support is limited. I’d appreciate advice from sisters about how to balance protecting women’s privacy and feelings while still being kind and fair to my sibling. JazakAllah khair.