Assalamu alaykum - My mom seems to resent me

Assalamu alaykum. I’m the oldest child and my parents are divorced. I can’t move abroad or get married right now for financial and personal reasons, so I’m living at home. My relationship with my mother has been painful for as long as I can remember. Since childhood she’s treated me differently from my sisters, always comparing us and making me feel like I’m a bad person. She blames me for everything. In arguments she says extremely hurtful things - wishing I’d died, saying she doesn’t want me, calling me ugly, and even telling me she thought they “changed me” in the hospital. She once admitted hitting me when I was a week old because I wouldn’t stop crying. Recently she borrowed money to buy me a PC for studying but spent most of it on other things. I used the remainder to buy the PC so the money wouldn’t be wasted, and now she keeps bringing that up whenever she wants to attack me. She even makes duʿāʾ against me, saying she hopes I fail or have bad luck, or saying she wants children like me. I’m not claiming to be perfect - I do sometimes talk back because it’s hard to stay silent when someone says such painful things - but I really try not to fight. There are many things she’s done that I still can’t get past. I don’t hate her, but I don’t feel love for her either; I feel emotionally distant because of everything that’s happened. Please make duʿāʾ that Allah guides us both and heals our hearts.