Assalamu alaikum - Feeling overwhelmed by my past sins

Assalamu alaikum. I have a really heavy past full of sins, and I mean very bad things. I was born Muslim but only started learning about Islam about three years ago and fell in love with it. I’ve had ups and downs, but I always come back to Allah because I don’t know another way. Still, my past keeps sneaking up on me and reminding me of wrongs I’ve done, many of which hurt other people. What really breaks me is that I’ve been trying so hard lately to become a better person, but just when I feel I’m improving, memories of my past crawl back in. I’m at my breaking point. Why would Allah want a servant like me? What’s the point of trying to improve if my past won’t let me move on? Why did Allah keep me alive after all I’ve done? I’m scared I’m losing hope. May Allah guide us and grant us sincere repentance. I know forgiveness is possible if we turn to Him with true remorse and try to make amends where we can. Sometimes taking small steps-seeking forgiveness from those we’ve wronged if possible, asking Allah for tawbah, increasing good deeds, and surrounding ourselves with supportive, righteous people-helps lighten the burden bit by bit. Remember the Prophet’s ﷺ teachings about Allah’s mercy being greater than our sins. You’re not alone; many people struggle with shame over their past, and what matters is coming back to Allah sincerely. Keep trying to be consistent in prayer, dhikr, and making up for mistakes where you can. If you feel overwhelmed, consider speaking to a trusted local imam or a compassionate counsellor who understands Islamic guidance. May Allah strengthen your heart, accept your repentance, and replace your despair with hope.