Assalamu Alaikum - Am I guilty of zina? Need guidance
Assalamu Alaikum. I'm really stressed and could use some advice. This story is messy, so sorry in advance if it's confusing. I'm 16F and I've always been a bit odd. When I was 12 I discovered fanfiction and spent a long time reading 18+ material, including very disturbing things involving young characters. I also watched a lot of anime and liked pairing older characters with younger ones. I never physically touched myself back then, but I was drawn to sexual content. Around 14–15 I turned away from that and grew close to Allah. I used to be very consistent with my deen - reading portions of the Qur'an daily, praying my five salat, and by 10 I had read the Qur'an many times. Last Ramadan I kept up with a juz a day despite school. But toward the end of 2025 I hit a slump and felt distant from Allah. My iman dropped, I stopped wanting to read Qur'an or study, and I slipped back into unhealthy habits. This time it wasn’t fanfiction: I started playing Roblox and ended up in chats with adults. I made an account and put my age in my bio, so those adults knew I’m a minor. I wasn’t attracted to them, but I still talked to them. One man - who seemed middle-aged - friended me and joined my game. We had some sexual texting, and then he told me he had ejaculated while we were talking. I felt sick and immediately left. I keep thinking I caused him to do that and that I committed zina by making him pleasure himself. I don’t know if he was telling the truth or just trying to make the chat more exciting, but I feel filthy and terrified that I’m beyond forgiveness. Please, if anyone can help with Islamic guidance: did I commit zina? What should I do to repent and move forward? I really want to be a good Muslim again but I’m overwhelmed with guilt. JazakAllahu khairan for any sincere advice.