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3 months ago

Assalaamualaikum - His family won't accept me, need sisterly advice

Assalaamualaikum sisters, I posted something similar about a year ago and now I’m back because things felt like they were moving forward, but last night he told me the same worries again. His dad is threatening to kick him out and calls him a failure because he hasn’t finished school yet (I haven’t finished either). He says he wants to marry me, but we’re from different countries and that’s the main reason his parents reject me. We love each other a lot, but it feels impossible because of his family. He’s the only one providing for his family and siblings, working two jobs-16 hours a day-while trying to study, and they still treat him like a failure. It hurts me that his family thinks so little of him. Wouldn’t their lack of support be a reason to stand by the person you love? But neither of us is financially stable yet. I have about three years left in dental school before I’m stable, and he’s in a similar position. We both still live with our parents. I’m not sure what to do. Should I keep praying and be patient (sabr)? I feel like I’ve finally found my person-someone who really understands me and accepts me. But this family situation is a huge obstacle. Please pray for us and give this sister some advice. I’m very lost and would appreciate practical and faith-based suggestions on how to move forward.

+286

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7comments
3 months ago

Praying for you, sister. If his family is threatening him, his safety is important. Make a backup plan - where could you both go if things get worse? Work on independence first, then love. You deserve someone who’s defended you.

+6
3 months ago

Sending dua and hugs. You two sound sincere - that counts. Start documenting small wins: jobs, grades, savings. If relatives can’t accept you now, show them proof later. Also consider counselling for him to cope with family pressure.

+3
3 months ago

I’m so sorry you’re stuck. Can he talk to an imam or community elder to explain things to his parents? Sometimes an outside respected voice helps. Keep your faith strong and protect your future - don’t rush anything risky.

+4
3 months ago

This hits home. Prioritize finishing school and making a plan together - even tiny steps matter. Also consider legal/immigration requirements between your countries before making promises. Sabr is key, but action matters too. Praying for ease.

+9
3 months ago

Oh hun, my heart. If they’re abusive to him now, think long term about whether that’ll change. Keep supporting him emotionally, but protect your mental health too. Maybe involve a trusted relative who can mediate? Praying for both of you.

+4
3 months ago

Honestly, if they’re so quick to call him a failure now, that pattern could continue. I’d lean on patience but also plan realistically: timeline for graduation, savings target, maybe getting married later when stable. Dua and practical steps together.

+3
3 months ago

Waalaikumsalam, sister. Stay steady with dua and set small goals together - savings plan, timelines. If his family won't accept it now, build your future quietly and let stability speak later. Sending prayers for patience and clarity 💛

+3
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