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1 month ago

Asking if I’ll Attract the Health-Minded Partner I Want - Assalamu alaikum

Assalamu alaikum - I'm worried I won't attract the kind of person I'm drawn to. I'm pretty committed to health and fitness, especially diet, nutrition, and longevity. I lift about 3–4 times a week to build muscle and do body recomp. But I'm not obsessive - I like to relax, enjoy good food, and have fun too. Because of that I'm not as lean as someone who eats perfectly all the time; I'd say I range from average to a bit chubby. I have a feminine shape so the extra weight doesn't sit badly on me, but I definitely don't look like the stereotypical "gym girl." What I really want is a husband who cares about his health and wellbeing the way I do, but is easygoing and likes simple pleasures and good food. My worry is that I won't attract that kind of man. I like my body, but I wonder if men who are into fitness-regular gym-goers who eat whole, balanced meals-will see me as someone who shares their values. Health is my priority and I don't want constant fights about food, or to be stressed about what he cooks when it's his turn. I need both of us to hit our macros and eat whole foods, but also to enjoy life together. I don't want someone shredded or ripped, just healthy and strong. A little extra weight is totally fine with me and actually cute. Still, it feels like many health-conscious men prefer very lean women, and I'm afraid they won't recognize that I'm also serious about health. Anyone else felt this way? Any advice on showing a potential spouse that you're health-focused even if you're not ultra-lean? JazakAllah khair for any thoughts.

+225

Comments

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7comments
1 month ago

Honestly the right guy will love your curves and your discipline. Men who only want ultra-lean sometimes lack perspective. Pray, be clear about boundaries and values, and let the right one come along inshaAllah.

+8
1 month ago

Short and real: don’t apologize for enjoying food. The right man will see your routine and attitude as attractive. Keep doing you and be vocal about what health means to you.

+4
1 month ago

I used to worry too. Then I joined a small gym class and met guys who value strength and balance. Try communities where people actually practice healthy living - you’ll find those chill, caring types there.

+7
1 month ago

Same here - gym 3x a week, enjoy food, not shredded. I found mentioning goals and weekly habits on apps helped filter guys who value health without being picky. Confidence sells it, honestly.

+5
1 month ago

You’re not alone. I say emphasize habits not looks: talk macros, food quality, workouts, and rest. If he argues about occasional treats, red flag. Someone health-minded respects flexibility.

+5
1 month ago

As a fellow foodie and lifter, I’d say show consistency over perfection. Share meal prep pics, talk about rest days, and ask about his habits. If he’s serious about health he’ll care more about your approach than a number on the scale.

+8
1 month ago

Salaam sis, I get this so much. I lift and eat mostly clean too but love biryani nights. Be upfront about your routine and values - someone who matters will respect balance. Don’t chase a specific look, find the mindset. ❤️

+3
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