Asking for guidance about a strained relationship with my mother - Salam

Assalamu Alaikum. This is a bit hard to put into words, but I could really use some guidance on how to handle this situation. I have a strained relationship with my mother. A little background: I’m a survivor of rape and I’ve also been harassed and assaulted by another person. Because of that, I’m especially sensitive and I’ve always wanted care and comfort from my mother. My parents didn’t have the best marriage. I used to step in during fights to protect my mother, and that sometimes hurt my relationship with my father. For many years I sided with her. Over the past five years, her behavior toward me has changed a lot: 1. She hides her makeup and lip gloss from me so I can’t use them, yet she uses mine and hides things from me. 2. She hardly ever compliments me. I can’t remember the last time she said something kind. 3. She gets upset if I wear her clothes. Once I asked to borrow a new sweater for a friend’s gathering; she texted me (I didn’t see it) and then called just to say “don’t ruin my sweater” and later we argued. I’ve always been careful with clothes, and I’ve never ruined anything, but I stopped asking to borrow from her. We’re the same size. 4. She copies whatever I do. For example, at a wedding she took an eyeshadow from my hand and used it even after I warned her it might spoil her makeup. 5. She often blames me when things go wrong. 6. She accuses me of turning my father against her, even though I don’t share private things with him anymore and I’ve tried not to interfere. 7. On her birthday I planned something for her, and by late night she stopped talking and said “this is all I get on my birthday” and then slapped me when I said I didn’t understand her reaction. 8. After a family meeting with a man I was considering for marriage, I came home to find her silently crying; she didn’t tell me why. 9. She rarely speaks to me gently or gives me motherly hugs, though she does make sure I have morning tea and cares for me when I’m sick. 10. She favors my siblings. For example, when I was saving for treatment for a back issue, she asked me to use that money to throw a birthday party for my sister before she left to study abroad. There’s more I can’t fully write down. The main thing is that when my mother accuses me of something small-misplacing or losing something-my anxiety spikes. I often stay silent and throw myself into work so I don’t have to sit with her. I’m asking: how should I navigate this? How can I protect my own mental health while still honoring my mother as Islam teaches? I want to fulfill my duties, but I also need boundaries so I don’t get overwhelmed. Any practical advice, dua, or guidance from others who’ve been in similar situations would mean a lot. JazakAllah khair.