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3 months ago

Asking for advice: Pregnant and anxious about telling family, assalamu alaikum

Assalamu alaikum, I’m 27, married, and in my first year of medical school. I just found out I’m about 5 weeks pregnant and I’ve been really anxious about it. I haven’t told anyone yet because it’s early and I want to wait until things feel safer, but I’m also worried about how my family will react. When my husband first moved to the US a couple years ago we stayed with my parents for a while. I moved to another city to finish my undergrad while he stayed at my parents’ house. Later we decided to live together, but my dad strongly opposed it and said it would harm my studies. We had a big fight when I stood up for our right as a married couple and he disowned me for a time. After a few months we were able to move in together. For context, our marriage was arranged by both families. Now I’m in med school, trying to honor their hopes for me, and my husband has recently joined me here. Things have been calm between the families, no major drama. But the idea of telling them I’m pregnant brings back the fear and hurt from how my dad treated me before, and I’m honestly traumatized. I was thinking of telling them when I visit for Eid, but I’m not sure if that’s the right time. Should I wait longer, tell them sooner, or perhaps have my husband speak with them first? I’d appreciate practical, kind advice - especially from those who’ve dealt with difficult family reactions. JazakAllah khair.

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