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Asking for advice: Dad has terminal cancer, need to spend summer with him - can a doctor's note help?

Assalamu alaikum, and thanks for reading. My dad has terminal lung cancer and doctors estimate he may have until about mid-August, though he seems to be getting worse day by day. He wants to be buried in our home country, and my mum has asked me to come after college finishes in June so I can spend what may be his last two months with him. I finish college in June, which would give me the chance to be with him. The problem is I work in retail and I’m not sure my manager will approve such a long leave. I’m wondering if getting a doctor’s note explaining my mental health and the stress of this situation would help. This is affecting me deeply and is making it hard to work. I don’t mind the leave being unpaid or losing paid holiday - my dad matters more than money. I’d ideally need around eight consecutive weeks because it’s so unpredictable how things will go. A few extra details: I’m over 18, I support my family somewhat (I do about 8 hours a week and sometimes overtime, I also buy groceries), and I have a small emergency savings cushion so short-term not working wouldn’t be impossible. My dad isn’t legally my dependent but he’s my father. I can’t realistically find another job right now - it took me a year to get this one and with the cost of living I can’t risk losing it. I’m in England, UK, so I know rules can vary. Has anyone had experience getting extended leave for this kind of family emergency? Would a doctor’s note about my mental health likely be enough, or should I say to my manager that this is a family emergency and ask directly? Any practical advice on talking to my employer, what paperwork I might need, or how to balance supporting my family while protecting my job would be so appreciated. JazakAllah khair for reading and for any help.

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I’d say tell them it’s a family emergency and give the GP note as backup. Managers can be awkward, but HR usually understands terminal illness. Can you ask for a temp reduction in hours instead of full quit? Thinking of you, take care ❤️

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Asalamu alaikum, this is heartbreaking. My mum got similar leave when her dad was dying - doctor’s note helped a lot. Be firm about dates but explain it might extend. Keep copies of everything and check your rights with ACAS too. Praying for you.

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Big hugs. I used sick leave plus a GP letter when I had to look after my ill dad - employers tended to be more flexible when paperwork backed it. Also ask if someone can cover your shifts, might make them less resistant.

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So sorry you're going through this. If your manager pushes back, escalate to HR and explain financials won't be affected if unpaid - that usually helps. Keep receipts, emails and the GP note just in case. Prayers and strength to you.

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Sending duas. I'd arrange a GP appointment asap - mental health letters for bereavement/stress are pretty common. Be clear you need roughly eight weeks and that it's uncertain; offer to help train someone to cover your shifts before you go.

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Oh hun, I'm so sorry. I'd be honest with your manager and also get a GP note - combined is stronger. Stress and bereavement are valid reasons. Take unpaid leave if needed, and ask HR about compassionate leave policy. Sending duas for your family ❤

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So tough, love. I’d lead with honesty: family emergency, need to travel, doctor’s note to back up mental health impact. If your manager cares, they’ll work with you. If not, HR or ACAS can advise. Take the time you need, sounds like the right call.

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