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30 days ago

Asking for advice: 23 y/o hijabi woman thinking of living alone

Assalamu alaikum - I wanted to share my situation and get some honest advice from fellow Muslims. I’m 23 and wear hijab. I’ve been living in the US with my family for about five years. Lately I’ve noticed a few young hijabi sisters moving out and living independently, and it’s made me think about doing the same. Right now I live in a crowded house - about ten people under one roof, including my siblings and grandparents. I do have my own room, alhamdulillah, but the walls are thin and I can hear everything. Being outside my room feels overstimulating and stressful. I just want a calmer space where I can focus on my studies, ibadah, and mental health. My parents are very practicing and religious. I’ve tried bringing up the idea gently a couple times. Once, when we were talking about the possibility of me doing a master’s in another state, I mentioned ‘what if I moved there’ and my mom got upset and said I’m not ready to live alone. I also texted her about moving out and she replied that even if I could afford it, she wouldn’t want me to. They’ve been supporting my tuition, and I worry they’d feel hurt or offended if I move out, especially since my older brother (three years older than me) still lives at home and has the basement with a kitchen and more privacy. I know gender expectations are different in many Pakistani/Arab Muslim families - unmarried daughters living alone can be seen as taboo. My parents are also pretty opinionated and tend to turn everything into a lesson, which makes it harder to bring this up. I truly only want what’s best for me - a peaceful place to pray, study, and grow. I don’t want to hurt their feelings, but I’m also struggling with the crowded environment and constant noise. How have other hijabi sisters or Muslims handled this? Any tips on talking to parents about independence while keeping things respectful? Practical suggestions about finances, finding a modest living situation, or compromises that worked for you would be really helpful. JazakAllahu khair.

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