As-salamu alaykum - I'm Struggling with My Faith and Need Help
As-salamu alaykum. I can't write my whole story here, it'd take too long, but I'm open if anyone wants to message me for more. It hurts because I used to pray for people who left Islam to be guided, and now I'm in that same place. I'm planning to seek therapy for the religious trauma and the guilt I carry - it leaves me numb and depressed. I don't know what to do or who to turn to so I can find my way back to Islam, but I feel like I can't manage this religion right now. I used to find peace in it, but lately it just gives me a headache. I'm terrified of the hellfire and of being wrong, yet I'm exhausted from constant questioning and overthinking. Shouldn't religion bring tranquility? Shouldn't following it feel less like a crushing burden? Sometimes it feels like it would be easier to follow blindly and just say I agree with what Allah revealed in the Book, but I genuinely can't force that. I've stopped wearing my hijab and haven't been praying because I don't feel what I used to feel, and I've been hiding this from my family and friends. I feel like I'm living a double life and it's eating me up. This can't be healthy. Please pray for me, and if you have gentle advice or know of Muslim-friendly therapists or supportive people who help with religious doubt and trauma, I would be so grateful. Jazakum Allah khair.