As-Salamu Alaykum - I Left a Career for the Sake of Allah and Now I Feel Lost
As-Salamu Alaykum, I’ve been wanting to share this because it’s been on my mind for a long time. I’m a quant finance engineer. After graduating, most of the roles open to me were at banks or involved work like selling debt, short positions, or other activities I felt were not permissible. For the sake of Allah I decided to step away from that route because I didn’t want to earn income that felt wrong to me. That choice was years ago, and I later began a PhD. Still, I often catch myself comparing my life to others. Friends I studied with are now working, gaining experience, moving ahead in careers, traveling, getting married, and building households. When I look at my own life I feel like I lost direction after that decision and haven’t really known what to do next. I’ve also been dealing with anxiety, which makes everything harder. Comparison hits me hardest. I keep thinking others are doing better, especially since many left home and became independent while I stayed with my parents. Living at home has strained my mental health because of ongoing tensions and feeling emotionally stuck between them. During this time I started memorizing the Qur’an, and Alhamdulillah I’m only five ahzab away from completion. I have flexibility and time in my schedule, yet I still struggle to be grateful for what I have. I fixate on other people’s accomplishments and my mind tells me I’m behind, useless, and that I can’t do anything meaningful. Outwardly, others think I’m living “the best life,” but inwardly I feel stuck, behind, and trapped in comparison. How do you cope with these thoughts? How can I learn to value my own path, stop measuring myself against others, and find contentment in the choices I made for the sake of Allah?