As-salamu alaykum - I feel at my lowest and need help

as salam aleykoum wa rahmatoullah wa barakatouh I keep having suicidal thoughts and I don't really know where to turn. I can't open up to family because they brush everything off and I don't have the strength to keep pretending I'm okay. For context: for over five months I haven't been able to live like I used to. These dark thoughts keep coming and lately it's like everything I do is a failure - school, family ties, my deen. My mother keeps telling me how disappointed she is about my grades. I'm short with people at school and feel like I'm unpleasant to be around. I worry about my future all the time and feel like I'm failing at life. I can't pray properly during the day because I'm in France and I'm not allowed to pray at school. I live in the countryside so there's no mosque I can walk to either. By the time I get home I'm trying to make up missed prayers and also study, since I don't finish until late most days (around 6:30 p.m.). Sometimes I skip prayers just to catch up on studying. I can't keep up with everything anymore. I feel humiliated because I can't wear my hijab at school. I feel like I want to leave everything behind. I keep thinking Allah is testing or punishing me. I don't feel like myself - like a stranger in this world. On the other hand, I tell myself I'm weak and that there are people worse off who don't complain. I don't know what to do anymore. JazakAllah khair for reading. I would really appreciate any advice, duas, or practical suggestions from brothers and sisters who may have faced similar struggles.