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2 months ago

As-Salaam Alaikum - I struggle with jealousy over not having had past relationships

As-salaam alaikum. I feel really envious of people who had romantic relationships before marriage. I’m in my mid-20s and looking for nikah, and when I hear of couples who were together for years before they married, I admit it makes me feel left out. Most married friends I know have been with their spouses since their teens. When I was younger I was closer to my deen, so I stayed away from those kinds of relations. Guys at university showed interest, but I turned them down because I didn’t want to be involved in anything haram and I knew I wasn’t ready to marry then. Now I deeply regret that choice sometimes. A part of me wishes I’d had that experience. When I see young people in relationships now I can’t help feeling jealous - like maybe I would’ve been married by now if I’d been with someone earlier. I know I shouldn’t hold on to regret and I ask Allah to remove this feeling from my heart, but it creeps in anyway. I also find it hard to consider a man for marriage who’s had past relationships, because I waited and was patient. I’m jealous that the person I might marry has shared that kind of experience with someone else instead of me. I don’t want to keep feeling this way. I keep making dua that Allah heals my heart and guides me to contentment, but I’m still struggling with these emotions and would welcome advice or duas from anyone who’s been through something similar.

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